Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (Game Review)

Overview:

System: Nintendo DS (Exclusive)
Developer: Rockstar Leeds
Publisher: Rockstar Games
Genre: Action/Sandbox

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“Grand Theft Auto on the DS!? Psh, yeah right, have fun with that. lolololol”

This is what many “hardcore” gamers are saying about Rockstar’s latest GTA adventure, Chinatown Wars. It’s an all too common belief that an open-world Sandbox game like Grand Theft Auto has no chance of being anything other than a miserable experience on the Nintendo DS, especially when the games turned out lackluster on the PSP, a far more powerful handheld system capable of rendering graphics far superior than Nintendo’s little handheld that could. In the eyes of the masses, there is no way a Grand Theft Auto game could be a rewarding experience on the Nintendo DS.

The masses are sadly mistaken. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is leagues above the disappointing PSP efforts, despite the lack of graphical power, and is more than worthy of your time and money. Chinatown Wars is a full-featured GTA adventure that packs the same masterful storytelling and thrilling gameplay you’ve come to expect from the series into a single cartridge, and it manages to throw in several new features than enhance the series as well as put this at the top of the Nintendo DS’s library.

Review:

In GTA: CW players take control of Huang Lee, the rich and spoiled son of a prestigious Triad boss who is mysteriously murdered by a group of unknowns. It is now Lee’s responsibility to deliver his father’s most prized possession, an ancient sword which was won in a paltry card game, to his Uncle in Liberty City. Upon arrival Lee is ambushed, shot, robbed, and dumped into the river. From here the story is pretty straight-forward with a few twists and humps that keep you guessing, but nothing that will blow your mind.

The story itself is pretty solid. Dialogue can range from absolutely hilarious to slightly boring, but there is always a light-hearted feel to it that keeps the game from being too serious, which is always a good thing in GTA games. You’ll meet an exceptionally strange cast of characters that make you feel like Huang is the only semi-normal person in the Triad underground of Liberty City.

The thing that makes Chinatown Wars such an absolute blast is the gameplay. Its controls handle almost exactly like the console counterparts which is astonishing. Rockstar really poured a ton of effort into creating a “real” GTA game on the DS and it shows.

Perhaps the biggest and most addictive element of GTA: Cinatown Wars is the ability to peddle drugs at your own free will. Making money while risking a prison sentence has never been this fun. Running from dealer to dealer to stock up on your stock while selling to other gangs who pay more for your crop can quickly become your main activity in this title. And it’s easy to put the money to use buying up the various safehouses throughout Liberty City since the entire metropolis is unlocked right from the get go.

But managing an entire drug empire on your own would get a little overwhelming without some kind of assistance. That’s where the PDA comes in. It handles absolutely everything. Email, GPS navigation, drug connections, and buying up ammo and arms from the Ammu-Nation are just a few of the services your PDA provides. And its slick interface will make you wish the DS was a real gadget that could do all those things in real life because Rockstar was able to make it function in such an amazing and believable manner.

One more awesome innovation is one that could only be done on the DS–touch screen mini games. You still have mini missions like Rampage and Rescue at your disposal, but now some of the most boring tasks are made fresh and fun since they are now handled through touch screen interactivity. Hot-wiring cars, defusing bombs, filling up Molotov cocktails, and even bashing out the window of a car you accidentally (or purposely) drove off of a ramp into the bay are just a few examples of things that are handled through the touch screen. They aren’t necessary by any means, but they are fun and give the game a bit more personality.

grand-theft-auto-chinatown-wars-graphicsThe only problem with the controls is that the lack of analog input makes moving feel a bit stiff. The D-Pad works fine, but it’ll take a little getting used to before you can maneuver as comfortably as possible. The lack of an analog stick also hinders your ability to drive as accurately as you could, but the game has an awesome feature that automatically aligns your car with the road so you’re not constantly tapping left or right on the d-pad trying to straighten yourself out. Alas this is more of a problem with the DS than it is a problem with the game, so it really is invalid to rating this software, it’s just something you’ll notice.

The game’s visuals are far better than I had ever thought they’d look. Sure, the game is no Dementium, but keep in mind all of the land this game has to cover. Miles and miles and miles more of city, country, and ocean span across the cartridge and are all loaded without slow down or graphical lag without loading screens. This is a fact  that makes the DS rendition of GTA an absolute technical marvel.

The game does revert back to the series’ roots and take on a birds’ eye view of the playfield, and this is a truth that morons criticize about the game. It plays excellent, the top-down view works great, and it looks fantastic. I honestly believe that the only people griping about the game’s top-down perspective or the un-detailed graphics are either Sony fanboys or idiots who haven’t played the game.

Cut-scenes are played out through comic book-like pictures with the occasional motion–a wink of the eye or a nod of the head. I would have much preferred full-motion cut scenes, but we are talking about a DS game here. I keep forgetting that when looking at everything else this game has to offer.

GTA’s audio design has always been one of it’s fine points. The fine crunch of bones under a tire. The random shouting of prostitutes and pimps as you drive by. The sounds of gun shots tearing through a rival gang member’s flesh. Ahh, it’s brilliant.

grand-theft-auto-chinatown-warsChinatown Wars is no exception. Weapons, the engines of cars, the sounds of innocent bodies slamming against the hood of your car, everything is recorded in detail. There are a few sacrifices that had to be made to fit the game onto a DS cartridge, though.

For instance, remember how I told you the cut-scenes were played out through pictures? There is also no voice acting. All dialogue must be read, which is perfectly acceptable for a DS game and I am not whining about it, but it makes some of the more subtle humor in the witty dialogue harder to catch than having the script read by voice actors.

Some other minor complaints include the generic music. I know that Chinatown Wars obviously had no where near the budget of its console-based brethren, but the music in the game is just plain annoying. I always find myself turning the radio off immediately after entering a vehicle.

And one more thing some picky people might notice is that all vehicles have the same horn. Cars, motorcycles, boats. They are all the same.

As far as entertainment value is concerned, GTA has the potential to be an 80+ hour game if you’ll let it. Getting lost in side missions and paying close attention to your drug dealings, local multiplayer, detailed stat tracking, plenty of weapons, miles of city to explore, and this is all on top of the 15-20 hour campaign mode. Easily worth the 30 smacks you’ll lay down for it.

Final Words:

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is not only good on the DS, it’s as good as any of the console offerings and a far better experience than any GTA games for the PSP. A deep, clever and epic storyline unfolds as you build a drug empire and adventure through a huge city, all while working your way up through the Triad ranks.

GTA: Chinatown Wars is a huge game and I know I left a ton of information out of this review. There is just too much for me to cover. Hell, there is too much for anyone to cover, really. Just take my word for it, if you are the kind of person who loves deep and involving games with addictive gameplay, great stories, and tons of entertainment value then this game is for you. Pick it up and see for yourself how much there is in this game to love.

Pros

  • It’s a real GTA game. On the DS
  • Peddling drugs to buy safe houses
  • The story lasts a minimum of around 2o hours. And that’s before you factor in anything else
  • Local and online Multiplayer modes
  • A technical marvel

Cons

  • Turn the radio off!
  • Cut-scenes would’ve been much better with voice acting

Score: 9.2/10 (Amazing)

Gameplay: 9.75/10 (Amazingly deep. They took the console GTA experience and put it on the DS)
Graphics:
9.0/10 (An absolute marvel. Runs smooth and has no load screens while adventuring)
Audio: 8.25/10 (Annoying and generic music on the radio. But everything else is done great. No voice acting)
Entertainment Value: 9.75/10 (So much to do!)

What do YOU Want to Read in Our Interview with TheSpeedGamers?

We here at Everyview like pleasing our readers the best we can, though we do an admittedly poor job of it. That’s why I’m coming to YOU, the Everyview reader, to tell me exactly what YOU want to be asked in our upcoming Interview with TheSpeedGamers.

Who do you want me to talk to? What do you want me to ask? Anything you can think of. We’ve only got until around Tuesday the 12th to get something together, so hurry up and get your requests posted in the comments section below!

“Resident Evil: Zero Hour” by S.D. Perry (Book Review)

Overview:

As far as I’m concerned, the Resident Evil series has one of the most engaging stories of any gaming franchise around. The characters and settings are always growing and evolving into something bigger and better, the plot is gripping and enthralling. Oh, and there are zombies. Once you enter the Resident Evil universe you will never want to leave, all thanks to the beloved and believable cast of characters and interesting plot. But a video game can only tell a story in a certain level of depth and detail.

resident-evil-zero-hour-bookEnter the Resident Evil novels published by Pocket Star Books and written by S.D. Perry, best known for her work on the Star Trek novels. There are six volumes in all, ranging from 0 – 5 and chronicling the story from Resident Evil Zero all the way through Code: Veronica far more in-depth than the games would ever allow. Resident Evil: Zero Hour, the topic of this review, is the novelization of, you guessed it, Resident Evil Zero, the series prequel which tells the story of the first foray into the Arklay Mountains by the S.T.A.R.S. Bravo Team. Continue reading

“Neon Bible” by The Arcade Fire (Album Review)

Overview:

Every so often, you hear about a band and they absolutely sweep you off your feet upon hearing the first note of the first song, and The Arcade Fire has done just that to me with their sophomore album, Neon Bible. It’s a complex feast of musical prowess, something so fresh and so new that upon listening to it I almost achieved my sexual peak.

Review:

the-arcade-fire-neon-bibleThe album was released in 2007, but I didn’t discover it until the Summer of 2008.  The band had been talked up on some internet message boards, and I thought that trying something new would benefit my musical soul, and seeing as how I can barely listen to anything extremely commercialized, I checked it out. Plus, I trust EVERYTHING I read online in reviews, since most independent internet reviewers are not only sexy, but CORRECT as well.  (WINK)

The first note of the first song on the album, ‘Black Mirror’, wowed me from the start.  It was more musically developed, and less angsty than I’d expected, and then I discovered why.

The band is Canadian. (Songwriter Win Butler was actually born in the U.S., but I won’t hold that against him.)

When in doubt, I ALWAYS assume Canadians can do everything better, and this is another example where I’m proven correct. As the album develops, it evolves, each song leading into the next, sounds blending together to form a masterpiece of modern music.

Most of the album was recorded in an old church, and it adds the the aura of the music. The lyrics are poignant and proficient, Butler really has a gift. His songs are catchy, but they aren’t obsessed with themselves, and he doesn’t rely on gimmicks in a fancy recording studio to progress his message.

The band cites the album as being rooted with themes of Americana, and influences are listed as musical legends with names like Springsteen, Dylan, and Presley (not Lisa Marie), you know the influences are bound to be positive.

The music is somewhat folksy, but each song is almost like a small little story, without hitting you in the face with overt symbolism and tacky lyrics.

The band implements the use of numerous instruments, including pipe organ, an accordion, and a mandolin, and each instrument is appropriate and used respectfully. They add a layer to the songs that the band felt was needed, and I agree.

The album rose to #2 on the ever-popular Billboard charts, something both surprising and well-deserved. This is not a mainstream band, and most of the songs on here do not sound radio friendly. They’re listener friendly. The band is an independent band, and debuting so high on the charts only solidifies that there are people out there who have taste in music AND are willing to try something a little different in order to spread their wings. The Arcade Fire’s “Neon Bible” is a great place to start.

Final Words:

The album is amazing and poignant, smart without being snarky. It provides the listener with a nice soothing album that is fantastic for not only a road trip, but also for a relaxing evening. It’s not invasive or crude, and it’s musically diverse. Not much more these Canadians could have done.

Score: 9/10 (Fantastic)

Lyrics: 9/10
Themes: 9/10
Originality: 9/10
Canadian-ness: 10/10

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Coming Soon: An exclusive interview with TheSpeedGamers

So TheSpeedGamers, a group of elite gamers who broadcast video game marathons to raise money for several charities, were kind enough to accept my request for an exclusive interview to be published right here on Everyview. This will be a first in a series of Everyview Interviews. I can’t say for sure when this will go live, but it’ll probably be before their May 15th 72 hour Mother Marathon to benefit Susan G. Komen.

Keep an eye out for some more specific updates including a post asking what you want to see in the interview.

Tucker Max’s “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” (Book Review)

Overview:

A genius pseudo-autobiography/memoir of the brilliant Tucker Max provides plenty of laugh out loud moments for people willing to read about some rich kid being able to do pretty much whatever he wants.

Review:

i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-bookI’ll preface my review by saying this: This book is genius. Not only is it insanely readable and insanely hilarious, but the fact that it’s true makes it all the better.  Max recounts numerous stories, ranging from the absolutely unbelievable, to the typical yet still unbelievable.

I would describe this book as a “slice of life,” because to me it does run some parallels. But, it’s not going to appeal to everyone. It’s raunchy and extremely crude (but goddamn he hits a home run almost every time he steps up to the plate).

It’s a memoir of Max’s run-ins with women and booze and his friends, and it’s very real. He pulls no punches, and although some of the stories sound so impossible, Max recounts them in a calm way that someone like me is actually inclined to believe him.

I say someone like me, because I’ve been involved in my fair share of shenanigans, and I always hate when I tell the story to someone and they don’t believe it. So, I give Max my “Ridiculous Story Teller Free Pass”.

I absolutely flew through the book, as its style was readable but not pandering (plus, I’m a perverted bastard). Sure, the book was written by someone who obviously has an ego, but who doesn’t? He’s the main character of his own story, and kudos to him for having the sack to tell it, whether he looks like an ass or not.

And not all of the stories make Tucker look like some Adonis-like stud. He includes little embarrassing stories so we can actually relate to him, actually feel a tiny bit of sympathy for someone like him.

There are so many stories in the book that I can’t actually spout off my favorite. There are so many gems, and to tell the outline of any of them would ruin their impact upon reading them.

And read them you should. Assuming, of course, you aren’t easily offended by copious alcohol abuse and sex. Max is intelligent (he went to Duke. You know, that school with the really good football team), and he can tell a story well. He does everything he needs to do in terms of writing. He’s concise but descriptive, and funny without being annoying or outrageous.

Final Words:

Any male in the alive-dead age range will find this book hysterical and easy to read. Not sure about females, but  I know quite a few who have enjoyed it as well, but it does have some sexist tendencies, and while I thought they were funny, Rosie the Riveter might not. It’s not a literary masterpiece, but it doesn’t claim to be. What it is is a helluva good read. For men, it’s basically a night out with the guys, where each story told is an attempt to top the previous one.

Score: 9/10 (Excellent)

Readability: 10/10 (VERY easy to read)
Theme: 10/10 (Sex and Booze? How is that not a 10/10)
Originality: 9/10 (I know I haven’t had the pleasure of reading anything like it before)

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: The book doesn’t hold up nearly as well as I thought it would on subsequent re-reads. It actually borders on laborious after the first time, when the stories are hilarious. When you know what happens, they lose nearly all of their zip.

Retro-Review: Tecmo Super Bowl

tecmo_super_bowl_boxartOverview:

“Tecmo Super Bowl” was released in 1991 on the Nintendo Entertainment System as the sequel to the popular football game “Tecmo Bowl.” It was the first game to use the names and attributes of actual NFL teams and players. It is, without hyperbole, a million times better than every other video game ever created.

And while my opening statement may seem to indicate this is going to be nothing but a kiss ass piece, that is not the case. While this game has brought me ridiculous amounts of joy, it has also helped create feelings of rage-filled hatred for life I didn’t realize existed until the moment they were spawned. So here it is, my official review for a game that has been in my life for longer than all but one of my friends.

Review:

I’m not even going to bother taking the time to review this game from a technical sense because it’s 18 years old. Obviously it’s not technically sound compared to modern games, but who gives a shit? It’s just plain fun. It’s an absolute blast to take control and dominate with unstoppable players on offense (Bo Jackson, Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye) and defense (Lawrence Taylor, Derrick Thomas).

If you watched any of the videos linked to above, it’s clear the game isn’t overly realistic. But to reiterate a previous point, who gives a shit? Why would anyone want to play a realistic football simulator? I played real football for several years and it fucking sucked. I’d much rather lose myself in an exaggerated fantasy world than be reminded of the neanderthal lunkheads I had to deal with in my playing days.

And who’s to say this isn’t how the actual game should be played? I love the NFL, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if quarterbacks possessed the ability to throw frozen rope passes from one end zone to the other? At the time of his arrest, Michael Vick had a contract worth $130 million. Maybe if he had spent his money training himself to develop unprecedented arm strength instead of bankrolling dog fights, he’d be preparing to lead the Atlanta Falcons to a Super Bowl instead of rotting in a jail cell.

Conversely, for all the joy I’ve gotten out of the game, it’s hard to neglect all the pain and anguish it has thrust upon me. I do like that when you go through season mode that games do get tougher, as it would get boring otherwise. However, the rate at which this game overrates certain players is beyond absurd.

It’s one thing to lose a playoff game to the San Fransisco 49ers, arguably the best team on the game, via a hail mary touchdown pass to Jerry Rice, the game’s best receiver. It’s another thing entirely when you are nursing a four point lead and get gashed for an 84 yard touchdown on the last play of a playoff game by Tom Rathman, who Tecmo creators, for some reason, believed was the pudgy white offspring of Walter Payton and Earl Campbell. Anyone who plays this game and says that scenario doesn’t make you want to use your cartridge as a disc for skeet shooting is lying.

Also, it is very good at driving rifts between you and the people you play against. I have literally gone weeks without speaking to friends due to fights caused by this game. Whether it’s a bullshit loss (like having your defensive back illegally picked, leaving your opponent’s receiver wide open for a game-winning score),  or a friends whining (beating them four strait games and having them blame every lose on a broken controller, even when we switch after each game!) tense arguments are bound to ensue. This isn’t massive to me as I value the game more than I value friendship, but if you do enjoy a non-confrontational relationship with your peers, this game  isn’t for you.

Final Words:

Though my anger may seem to indicate otherwise, I don’t want to give the impression that this is anything less than the best video game ever made, because I swear to you it is. Sure it’s imperfect, even to degrees that make you want to chuck your Nintendo against the wall. But who decided that the things you love have to be perfect anyway? Flaws and all, this game has given me more joy than I could have ever gotten from modern “polished” games with their “good” graphics and “realistic” gameplay.

And while I may have given the impression this game has killed my friendships, that isn’t the case at all. If anything, it has kept them going. Most of the tension it causes comes to an end because we get bored and need someone to play Tecmo with. The only other option is making new friends who also share our love of the game and that can be tricky. Like parents who stay together so as to not emotionally scar their children, these friendships continue, even though the parties involved really don’t much care for each other. That is the twisted beauty of this game.

Final Words II:

Normally these reviews are concluded by giving scores but I’m not really interested in applying one to this game. While it no doubt gets a perfect 10 for replay value, I can’t really give it a perfect overall score because technically speaking it isn’t perfect. However, I can say with 100% honesty that I wouldn’t change a single thing about this game, no matter how angry and hateful it has made me. In that aspect, it is perfect.

I can’t really gauge if this would be fun to non-football fans because I have loved the NFL for as long as I can remember. But if you like football and are looking for a better solution than the vastly overrated entry in the “Madden” series, do everything you can to hunt down an old Nintendo system and a working copy of this game. It will be the best decision you have ever made.

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Weekly Recap for April 27th – May 2nd

Here’s a list of last weeks posts with links back in case you missed anything. Enjoy!

Wow, talk about an expansion! Everything you see in front of you is all-new and all-improved. Except for that damn banner, though it is better than the old one. We’re planning a contest to fix it so don’t worry Anyway, with such a drastic change you’re probably thinking it’s time for us to take a break, right? Wrong!

Now that we’ve got this awesome new layout and this awesome new domain name hosted by this awesome service it’s time for us to finally get back to work bringing you all the awesome reviews you know and love. Hopefully this week’s recap will hold you over, but we’ve got plenty on the plate for next week. Until next time, keep reading Everyview!

A New Feature on Everyview

Hello to all the wondrous readers of Everyview. I would like to take this opportunity to announce a new feature we will  be implementing on our site.

Basically, the idea is to have two contributors hold debates over various topics they feel passionate about. It is our hope that we can think of an ultra-clever name to give these debates, but such a moniker has yet to come to fruition. Some of these debates will be of important manners, and some of them will be about pitily-crap (in fact, the first scheduled one between myself and new contributor Andrew Majors would definitely fall into the pitily-crap realm).

These debates will feature an overview explaining the topics that will be discussed, followed by each correspondent explaining, in 400 words or less, why their side is the one to back. We will then include a poll for you, our beloved public, to vote on to give the winning party bragging rights for the rest of their lives.

Hopefully this is an idea we can build on and make it at least a semi-regular staple of our site. And if you happen to stumble across an idea for a future debate, don’t hesitate to mention it and we will see what we can do. Thank you for your time.