[Energy Review] Neuro Fuel (Sugar Free)

Posted on January 30, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Energy drink companies are all about formulating sugar free versions of their drinks that taste exactly like the regular ones. This is definitely a good thing, as there are people out there with diseases such as diabetes who can’t afford to intake any more sugar than is absolutely necessary, and an energy drink isn’t necessarily worth dying over.

A couple of weeks ago I posted a re-review for a drink called Neuro Fuel. This week I’m back with a review for that drink’s sugar free counterpart. Let’s see how the Sugar Free formula stacks up against the original. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Re-Review] Neuro Fuel

Posted on January 8, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Just about a year ago I posted a review for an energy drink called Neuro Fuel, a drink that was so utterly horrible that nothing I’ve consumed before or since (except that time I though ate body spray by mistake. Don’t ask) has even come close to being as disgusting. So why am I willing to re-drink something I hated so much?

Well it turns out that the disgusting can of nasty I subjected myself to was actually an accidental “bad batch.” When the folks behind Neuro Fuel found my review, they were confident that if I tasted their drink the way it was meant to taste, then I would enjoy it much more.

Let’s see if they were right. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Slurm

Posted on December 18, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Futurama is one of my favorite shows of all time, and it is easily one of the best television programs to hit the tube in recent years. The character, setting, concept, and execution all put this show far above most others during its much too short four season lifetime, after which it was criminally canceled by the selfish assholes at Fox. I’ll never forgive them.

In the television show, Slurm is the greatest canned beverage of the year 3000. Seemingly perfect in every way, there isn’t a single person who dislikes it. That is, of course, until it is discovered that Slurm consists purely and entirely of a giant worm’s anus discharge. Even after this discovery, main character Fry simply cannot get enough of the delightful green liquid. It’s that good.

I don’t know what kind of worm’s ass they are sucking this real life Slurm out of, but it tastes just how I’d expect a worm’s anus slime to taste. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Slap Juicy: Tropical Energy + Juice

Posted on December 7, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

I’ve been digging through my fridge a lot lately in an attempt to satisfy my urge for energy without emptying my wallet. This morning I woke up to get started on my seven hours worth of homework which I had 6 hours to complete, blindly stuck my hand in my mini fridge, and pulled out a green can of Slap Juicy: Tropical.

I love saying Slap Juicy.

Slap Juicy, slap juicy, slap juicy. Haha. It sounds more like a sloppy sex position than an energy drink. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Ace Lo-Cal

Posted on December 4, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

The thing about Ace Lo-Cal that initially caught my eye was the horrible can. Ridden with bullet holes, World War II plane decorations, playing cards, and a pinup model from somewhere in 1922 riding a bomb, this is one of the most awful cans I’ve ever seen.

But it’s also completely bad ass! Seriously, there’s a cowgirl riding a bomb.

Straight from the can:

It’s a dog fight out there! To win, you need to stay sharp.

Crack open an Ace Energy for an immediate physical and mental lift. Ace will get you flying high and keep you in control.

Throw down an ace!

Man, this is going to be terrible! Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Blood Energy Potion

Posted on November 20, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Blood Energy Potion is a new energy shot from Mana, the people behind both the Mana Energy Potion and Health Energy Potion, two products which have established themselves as fantastically effective energy shots despite their seemingly “novelty” vibe. Plus they look like something straight out of a video game, and that’s something I can totally dig. But Blood has a completely different theme than its predecessors, ditching the WoW crowd and attempting to capitalize on a whole new breed of human beings. The Vampire fans.

I hate vampires. There’s just nothing about them that appeals to me, and as far as I’m concerned they are the lamest creatures of supernatural lore this side of Frankenstein’s Monster. Maybe it’s just because I’m not a 13 year old girl enfatuated with the series of horrible Twilight books and movies, who knows? Most likely it’s because I’m a zombie guy, and I always have been. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Venom Energy: Killer Taipan

Posted on November 17, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

It’s been a while since I’ve had any drinks from the Venom Energy lineup of drinks, so today I decided to pick up a can of Killer Taipan, a mango flavored supplement from Venom. I’ve known about this drink’s existence for a fairly long time, since some time during the spring college semester of 2009, and have actually had it a few times before.

Straight from the can:

When you want cold-blooded clarity and the quick energy to strike when the time is right, you need the potent Venom of the Killer Taipan, delivered in mesmerizing Mango.

The Venom Potency Pack has a powerful does of taurine, glucuronolactone, L-carnitine and guarana, giving it piercing energy that strikes back.

Continue reading →

[Review] Mini Chill Relaxation Shot (Berry Bliss)

Posted on November 9, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

In today’s world it is all too often that you need an extra burst of energy just to keep up with your busy life. Thankfully there are plenty products for that. Energy Drinks, Energy Candies, Energy Shots, Energy Powders, Energy Patches, Energy Mixes, Energy Gum, Energy Soap, and the list goes on and on.

But what about when the time finally comes to slow down? Luckily there is a growing list of products out there that help calm you down when you need to relax and take a load off. The Mini Chill Relaxation Shot is one such product. Whether you’re getting ready for bed or just ending a stressful overtime shift, this thing will make your “you” time much more enjoyable. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Sport Energy: Fruit Punch

Posted on October 24, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Popping to tab on my can of the Fruit Punch flavor of Sport Energy, I noticed a powerfully sweet and absolutely appetizing aroma lingering from the can. Obviously artificial but not overpoweringly so, the sugary scent serves as a good sign of things to come. I was initially scared this would be another terrible drink that I regret pouring into my body, but things are looking up so far.

The first sip yielded a pleasant flavor, artificially flavored but sweetened with real sugar. It made be think of a carbonated Hawaiian Punch more than anything, which is to be expected. The carbonation level is a little high, but after the drink breathes for a few moments it subsides and becomes much more refreshing and drinkable. The only problem I really have with Sport is that it feels really heavy on my stomach, so I couldn’t imagine how it would work for someone trying to use it as a sports drink. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink News] Monster Preparing to Launch New Site, Preview it Now!

Posted on September 30, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

I just got an email from the folks over at Monster Energy with information about their new site. Here’s a snippet from said email:

Listen up Monster people! We’ve got some exciting news that you’re gonna want to hear!

The MonsterEnergy.com site is getting ready to launch with its new kickass redesign and YOU get first crack at this bad boy!

The new site is going to blow you away with all these new community features that will allow you to post pics, watch athlete videos, comment on things, and rate what you think is hot or not. You’ll find everything you ever needed to know on your favorite X-athletes, rockin’ bands, smokin’ hot Monster girls, and the coolest events around town.

To go with the new awesome site though, you’ll need a new MonsterEnergy.com username and password to match. Unfortunately your existing username and password will not access the new site. But, now would be a good-time as any to say good-bye to NiceGuy123 and say hello to MonsterBallz311!

The new site actually looks pretty good. There is also a mixology section that teaches you how to make alcoholic drinks like Skinny Bitch, Cherry Popper, and Monster Orgasm. I think they should also make recipes for drinks called Date Rape, Murder Rape, and just plain Rape.

Anyway, check out a preview of the new site right here.

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Tag Archives: Energy Drinks