Yo! This review was the result of me buying a can from a bad batch of Neuro Fuel. This review is completely inaccurate to the actual drink, so go check out the review for the drink’s proper formula right here.
Have you ever wondered what piss tasted like but never wanted to drink it? Now, for all the curious kids, there is a drink that lets you experience the sensation of drinking urine without being weird. Of course that’s not what the makers of Neuro Fuel were aiming for, but it’s what they accomplished.
Straight from the can:
Neuro Fuel may increase the brain’s healthy nerve function and structure to enhance coordination, intelligence, and recovery. Neuro Fuel may increase dopamine which plays a large role in motivation, concentration, desire, sexual function, and a sense of well being. Neuro Fuel may enhance serotonin which promotes a “happy feeling” along with calming anxiety, relieving depression and reducing the urge to overeat.
While it’s true that this is the worst tasting energy drink I’ve ever, ever had, it does do most of the things it claims it does in the above quote. Click Read More to find out how.
Upon first acquiring this substance I had no idea what to expect. I saw it’s overly generic can and thought to myself “Well this might end up being good.” Afterall, you never know until you’ve experienced something, right? Well, those thoughts were immediately disregarded after popping the top and taking that first whiff. It smells horrible, just like cough syrup or piss. Possibly a combination of both.
The only things I could think after that initial smell was “Oh god, am I bleeding?” and “How bad is this going to taste?” Well, take 2 parts Preparation H, 1 part dead monkey fetus, and 3 parts wart puss and you’ve got yourself an extremely accurate description of Neuro Fuel’s flavor. Well, not really it’s flavor, but that’ll give you an idea of how bad it is. The good thing is that it slowly kills your taste buds which makes it more bearable to ingest the more you drink it. The bad thing is that it still tastes like piss, no matter how dead your tongue is.
As for kick, this is really the only criteria Neuro Feul truely meets and even excels at. About half an hour after forcing half of that can or horrible fluid down my throat and into my poor stomach I felt what was one of the best kicks I’ve experienced in a long time. Actually, I’m not sure if it can really be called a kick. It was a pleasant, floaty feeling that I rather enjoyed. I fealt absolutely great and if it wasn’t for the fact that my brain almost suffocated itself because I kept pouring this in my body then I would drink it all the time, just for that “happy feeling” it gives you.
On the value front Neuro Fuel performs very poorly. You get a small 12 oz. can of disgusting fluid for the same price of an equal sized can of wonderful Cocaine supplement or a 16 oz. can of Monster. There’s really no reason to buy this other than the uplifting feeling it gives you, and you probably won’t even be able to swallow all of this slop to get to that good feeling.
If you can force yourself to swallow this junk then you will be rewarded with an amzing, uplifting sensation that lasts an adequate amount of time.
- Wonderful uplifting feeling
- Smells like piss
- Tastes like piss
- Buy it only if you have money to piss down the drain
Overall: 4.13/10 (Really, really bad)
Aroma: 2/10 (Gross)
Taste: 1/10 (Blugh)
Kick: 9.5/10 (Wonderfully sensational)
Value: 4/10 (Too expensive, not worth it)