[Energy Drink News] Get BAWLS Everywhere!

You know what really sucks? Cancer, war, tooth decay, crooked cops, murderers, Rush Limbaugh, rapists, preteen pregnancy, socks with holes in them, underwear that ride high, pollution, getting stung by bees, stubbing your toe, losing stuff, homework, flat tires, having an owl run into your face, your grandma dying, terrorists, getting hit by a car, AIDS, accidentally killing that hooker in Taiwan, underage kids who smoke, drug-induced deaths, dropping your keys in human feces, gaining weight, and spontaneous combustion.

You know what sucks even more? For some reason, BAWLS Energy Drink isn’t readily available across our entire nation. There are deprived people out there who have never even had the chance to sample a bottle of the bubbly, energizing beverage. Thankfully, if you sign a petition to get BAWLS available everywhere, you can do your part to put an end to all of the aforementioned things that suck!!*

So what are you waiting for? Sign the petition by following this link!

* Signing this petition will not end the following: Cancer, war, tooth decay, crooked cops, murderers, Rush Limbaugh, rapists, preteen pregnancy, socks with holes in them, underwear that ride high, pollution, getting stung by bees, stubbing your toe, losing stuff, homework, flat tires, having an owl run into your face, you grandma dying, terrorists, getting hit by a car, AIDS, accidentally killing that hooker in Taiwan, underage kids who smoke, drug-induced deaths, dropping your keys in human feces, gaining weight, or spontaneous combustion. But it will help get BAWLS available everywhere!

[Energy Drink News] Monster Preparing to Launch New Site, Preview it Now!

I just got an email from the folks over at Monster Energy with information about their new site. Here’s a snippet from said email:

Listen up Monster people!  We’ve got some exciting news that you’re gonna want to hear!

The MonsterEnergy.com site is getting ready to launch with its new kickass redesign and YOU get first crack at this bad boy!

The new site is going to blow you away with all these new community features that will allow you to post pics, watch athlete videos, comment on things, and rate what you think is hot or not.  You’ll find everything you ever needed to know on your favorite X-athletes, rockin’ bands, smokin’ hot Monster girls, and the coolest events around town.

To go with the new awesome site though, you’ll need a new MonsterEnergy.com username and password to match.  Unfortunately your existing username and password will not access the new site.  But, now would be a good-time as any to say good-bye to NiceGuy123 and say hello to MonsterBallz311!

The new site actually looks pretty good. There is also a mixology section that teaches you how to make alcoholic drinks like Skinny Bitch, Cherry Popper, and Monster Orgasm. I think they should also make recipes for drinks called Date Rape, Murder Rape, and just plain Rape.

Anyway, check out a preview of the new site right here.

[Energy Drink News] New Flavor of Monster Features New Resealable Can

monsterimportMonster has announced that they will be releasing a new Monster drink called “Monster Import.” Import is made with the formula that was developed overseas and is packaged in a unique and innovative resealable can that appears to be superior to the CAP CAN technology used with the Mega Monster.

The can’s cap is a plastic tab that twists to be opened, and twists back to be resealed for freshness. I haven’t seen these anywhere around me yet, but I’m sure they’ll explode onto the energy scene soon enough. As soon as I get my hands on a can I’ll get you guys a review.

[Energy Drink News] Red Bull Cola Banned in Germany for Containing Cocaine

Everyone knows it’s true that Coca-Cola used to contain traces of cocaine as one of the primary ingredients. But that was way back in 1885, way before anyone knew just how powerful of a narcotic cocaine really was. Of course the Coke Company no longer allows anything short of 100% de-cocainized coca leaf extract, the plant from which the drug is derived, to be used as an ingredient in their immensely popular soft drink. Continue reading