Review: Cocaine Energy

Cocaine Hot and Spicy

Overview:

Cocaine energy drink is one of the most sought after beverages in the industry due to the fact that next no store will carry and the only way to get it is through the drinks website. I’ve always wanted to taste the drink responsible for garnering so much flak from state and federal regulators, and mine is finally here. It’s review time!

Straight from the can:

Warning: This message is for the people who are too stupid to recognize the obvious. This product does not contain the drug Cocaine (duh). This product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

Awesome.

Review:

The folks behind Cocaine energy drink are fast transforming from beverage manufacturers into American revolutionaries, leading the fight for true freedom of speech. They are building a legal fund and if you want to be of assistance all you need is a PayPal account and some revolutionary blood beating through your heart. Anyway, on to the review!

Aroma:
I was honestly really skeptical about Cocaine, scared even. I wasn’t sure what to expect, really, and I had no idea how that first taste would leave me feeling. So, of course, I smelled it to see if it tickled my fancy, and it did. Cocaine smells very sweet, despite being labeled “hot and spicy” flavor. I felt a little more comfortable with putting it in my mouth.

Taste:
Again I stalled. I remember seeing videos of people coughing and choking from burning throats and it never looked too enjoyable. I figured it was go time so I cocked my head, closed my eyes and opened wide. Wow. Cocaine is absolutely delicious! The flavor starts off with a sweet tickle followed by that warmness in your throat. At first it’s kinda weird but after the first drink it becomes a feeling of comfort, safety even. It’s really wonderful and once it’s gone you’ll miss it. It turns out that people who whine from painful burning are either pansies or just plain full of shit.

Another plus in taste is that it’s absolutely unique. I’ve never had a drink that tasted even remotely similar. It doesn’t have a salty slush or medicinal burn to it, either.

Hot and Spicy Sampler

Hot and Spicy Sampler

Kick:
Does Cocaine have a kick? Hell to the yes. In fact, this one can has 3.5 times the kick of a same-sized can of RedBull. So if kick is what you’re looking for you, won’t find a caffeine high like this in any other drink, or at least not one that I’ve reviewed. It’s a good kick, too. One that helps you concentrate and helps to boost physical performance, not one that leaves you jittery and shaky.

Value:
When it comes to value, Cocaine can be a little steep but it’s definitely worth it. At their online store you can pick up a 24-case for $39.95, or check out the Holiday Stimulus Pack and save 25%. They also offer sampler packs in case you, like I was, are afraid you’re meddling in powers outside your grasp for a measly $4.99, but I suggest the Stimulus Pack while it’s available. However, if you read this after the deal has dissipated then hit up the 24-case as this stuff is pretty hard to come by and I’m sure you’ll want to stock up so you don’t have to keep ordering more.

Final Words:

Cocaine is a delicious supplement that I can honestly highly recommend to an energy drink fan. While it’s awful hard to come by and a little steep in pricing, it’s totally worth it. One can is 350% stronger than a can of RedBull of the same size, so it’s like killing 3.5 birds with one stone!

Pros

  • Sweet scent
  • Sweet immediate taste, followed by hot flavor
  • Warm sensation in throat feels amazing
  • Nothing like it
  • Excellent kick

Cons

  • Too hard to come by, thanks to Uncle Sam
  • A little steep, though you get some explosive bang for your buck

Score:

Overall: 9/10 (Awesome. Just plain awesome)

Aroma: 8.5/10 (wonderfully sweet)
Taste: 9.5/10 (One of a kind, warm throat sensation is amazing)
Kick: 9.5/10 (Amazing, one can = 3.5 RedBulls; Kick beats Monster, easy)
Value: 8.0/10 (While it is a little pricey, it’s top notch stuff and totally worth every penny)

19 thoughts on “Review: Cocaine Energy

  1. Pingback: » Review: Cocaine Energy « Everyview


  2. Dude, I’ve found this once here in Arizona and I abolutely loved it! I wish it was readily available so I could drink it all the time!!!


  3. I love this stuff so much! I totally want that fucking Cocaine guitar for christmas if they don’t run out.

    This is easily the best energy drink out there, too bad the gov is a bitch about this stuff…


  4. dude this shit is abslute shit taste liek asshol that jus shit a huge shit how teh fuk cn ne of u twats stnd that fuckn shit its the wors thing i ever put n my mouth wich is wut ur mom said las nite wen i came in hr mouth so hard she lmost thru up lol


  5. @Jamey

    No, it wasn’t. He’s been trolling up my comments as of just recently, but I think everyone has the right to an opinion no matter how full of shit they are. So I leave it.

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  7. My first sip tasted very familiar. Now i know what that taste was… Welche’s Strawberry soda mixed with some kind of hot pepper spice & hot cinnamon. This stuff is the dopeness.

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