[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monster: Killer-B

nitrousmonsterkiller-bReview:

Killer-B is the only flavor of Nitrous Monster with a name that I understand. The can is decorated with a honeycomb design, it’s called Killer-B, it is obviously honey flavored. Knowing this when leaning in to take a first whiff, I was almost taken aback when I actually picked up the aroma. It is absolutely nothing like I had expected. Instead of smelling powerfully sweet and primarily of honey, like I had expected, I was treated to a rather delicious light, aromatic aroma that reminded me of a crisp tea flavored lightly with honey. Very delicious, but definitely not what I was expecting. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monster: Super Dry

nitrousmonstersuperdryReview:

Popping the cap off of the can of Super Dry, you will be immediately met with an absolutely delicious aroma. And I mean it is fantastic. Perfect. And I’m not kidding. Super Dry is the first product I’ve ever reviewed that scores a perfect 10 in the aroma department. It’s a strong lime scent with a perfect balance between sweet and sour. After opening a can of Super Dry, I literally put my nose inside of the opening to breath for the next several minutes. It is really unbelievably delicious, and I often times buy this flavor just for the scent. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] X-Presso Monster: Hammer

xpressomonsterhammerStraight from the Can:

All over Europe they’ve got these cool little coffee shops that serve killer espresso with creamy foam on top. Our madman in R&D figured out how to get that same smooth texture by injecting potent imported espresso with Nitrous Oxide. The we up’d the ante by adding out “tried and true” Monster energy blend.

X-PRESSO MONSTER has a rich creamy texture, imported espresso flavor, and a Monster buzz that just won’t quit. Made in Holland but only available in the USA. What a country…

X-Press yourself!

Nitrous Oxide in an energy coffee? Sounds interesting. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Syzmo Organic Energy Drink

Overview:

Syzmo Organic Energy DrinkI’m going to go ahead and be honest with you guys. I usually refuse to taste anything with a label of “Organic” since I had a terribly frightful experience with organic peanut butter. I don’t really want to go into it here, but let’s just say that there was lots of blood, tears, and a great loss of dignity involved.

Organic things just usually suck. I’m not saying all organic products are the pits, but the majority of them are absolutely disgusting when sat next to their chemical-enriched counterparts. And if anything has the potential to go horribly wrong by becoming organic it’s energy drinks. And peanut butter. So much blood… Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Die Hard Sports Energy

Die Hard Energy DrinkOverview:

Sports/Energy Drink hybrid products are certainly nothing new. The trend was started with Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator, which was actually the very first sports energy drink on the market. Since its release there have been more and more of these hybrids that are designed to deliver a decent kick while keeping your body hydrated for strenuous exercise, something that standard energy drinks can’t do.

Straight from the can:

Scientifically formulated to deliver effective hydration, responsible energy and natural flavors to ensure optimum performance before, during and after physical activity.

Responsible energy? Sounds boring. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Stacker 2 YJ Stinger Sinful Citrus

Overview:

stacker2yjstingersinfulcitrusThe YJ Stinger brand is pretty close to being deceased, and for good reason. Though its lame TV advertisements featuring pro wrestlers helped it become one of the first mainstream energy drinks, it quickly fell off of consumer radars due to its inaccessibility.

The drink was released in four flavors, all of which failed on the market. The Sinful Citrus flavor has the reputation for being the best, though, so I figured this would be the least painful flavor to try.

But the experience was still pretty painful. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Awake: Good Morning Energy

awakeenergyOverview:

We all know mornings are very important and that they shape the rest of your day. A day that starts with a good morning will almost always end with a good night. But if you wake up groggy and grumpy, stump your foot on the dresser, burn your toast, cut yourself shaving, lose a sock, and forget to brush your teeth, your day will likely end by finding out that you have syphilis. Continue reading

[Energy Review] Spot On Energy Patch

Overview:

spot on energy patchesYou’ve seen the energy drinks, shots, and candies that kick your adrenaline into high gear and make even the most arduous of tasks a breeze, but surely there’s a quicker way of getting all that caffeine into your blood stream than drinking or eating it, right?

Enter Spot On Energy Patches, a patch that is applied directly onto your skin which makes it the quickest and most efficient way of getting the energy blend into your body next to filling a syringe with Monster and shooting it right into your veins. Which is a horrible idea anyway. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Monster Import

monsterimportenergyOverview:

Monster Import is the newest flavor of Monster Energy. ‘Import’ isn’t just a fancy word they slap on the front of the can for connoisseurs like myself, no, the drink is actually imported straight from Amsterdam, the official home of public fornication and casual drug abuse. If you don’t want to try Import for the fact that it is a new Monster, then at least try it for that. Continue reading