Review: Triple Steak Burrito

Overview:

The triple steak burrito is a giant tortilla filled with three servings of perfectly seasoned, marinated steak with a covering of rice and cheese rolled to sloppy perfection. With three servings of steak there is no way this thing can be good for you. In fact, I would not recommend to people with heart problems or pregnant women, due to the fact that it could easily kill you or cause a miscarriage, respectively. That’s how delicious it is.

This is Taco Bell’s newest addition to their menu since the Volcano Taco, and it’s left me once again saying “Yo Quiero Taco Bell.”

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I got a Blackberry Curve!

Well I finally updated my ugly, outdated BlackBerry 7100 series to the BlackBerry Curve and I couldn’t be more happy with it. The phone was $99.99 with a $100 dollar rebate, which isn’t too expensive for a smartphone, but I only had 83 bucks. After asking all of my friends for $125 I ended up swallowing my pride and asked my parents for some cash. They reluctantly forked over a check for the phone, took all my money, and made me agree to pay them $50 for the next two weeks. So I’m totally broke, but I don’t mind. I love this phone.

My Baby!

You can look forward to an in-depth review of the BlackBerry Curve in the coming weeks. I want to make sure I can experience every aspect of the phone before I tell you guys what I think of it. But I’ll tell you this right now. I love it.

Review: Monster Assault

Overview:

Monster Assault has been on store shelves for about as long as the original green drug has been available to consumers, and has almost as many dedicated addicts, or fans, as does it’s parent drink. If you like original Monster, you will most likely also enjoy Assault, as it modifies the distinct Monster Energy taste by adding what seems to be ginger. Maybe. I’m really not sure what it is, but it’s good to say the least.

Straight from the can: “At Monster we don’t get too hung up on politics. We’re not for “the War”, against “the War”, or any war for that matter.

We put the “camo” pattern on our new Monster Assault can because we think it looks cool. Plus it helps fire us up to fight the big multi-national companies who dominate the beverage business.

We’ll leave the politics to the politicians and keep doing what we do best — making the meanest energy supplements on the planet.

Declare war on the ordinary! Grab a Monster Assault and VIVA LA REVOLUTION!”

Wow, whoever wrote that obviously has an extreme case of A.D.D. I mean, they were all over the place. That, and they’re a liar. They aren’t for the war but they want to fight so they tell us to declare war. Or something. I quit paying attention pretty quick. I have an attention problem anyway. Does anyone have a bike?

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Review: Hicks

Just to let you know, this definitely isn’t a rant.

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Smart people, idiots, and people who don’t have full control over their bowels. Hicks fit into those latter two categories almost perfectly, except, their bowels usually come out of their toothless mouths instead of their ass holes. That’s another perfect word for hicks. Ass holes. Not because they are dicks, but because that’s almost exactly what they smell like. So basically what I’ve said so far is that hicks are semi-autistic ass holes who can’t keep their shit to themselves.

Nothing pisses me off more than a fucking retard who plasters his car with rebel flag stickers and fake bullet holes. Seriously. I just talked to some moron who told me he had 150 feet of rope in the back of his car. When I asked him why he told me it was because there were some pretty tall trees where he lives. No joke. What kind of retarded-ass cock sucker says that shit? This kind:

I had to censor his face because it looked too much like an ass.

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Leprechaun in Alabama?

Before my anticipated review on Far Cry 2, a couple of my friends showed me a video from YouTube. Some citizens in Mobile, Alabama believe to have seen a Leprechaun. As outlandish as this seems you will just have to make your own opinion from the video. As far as I am concerned this looks like a plea for help from people without much to do. While watching the video keep your eyes peeled for the amateur sketch and the magic flute.

Monster Army

I was looking around the web for information to use in the Monster Khaos review I recently posted and I came across something called the Monster Army. At first I wasn’t interested in joining, since I already had enough resources to write the review, but I was enticed with offers of free Monster gear. I decided I like free stuff, so I signed up.

Join the Monster Army

Join the Monster Army

The Monster Army offers chances for sponsorship for local and undiscovered extreme sports athletes. I’m gonna see if I can get sponsored as being an extreme bloggist. If it works out, which I doubt it will, I’ll give some loyal readers some free stuff.

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Retro-Review: Beastie Boys “Licensed to Ill”

Overview:

“Licensed to Ill” was the 1986 debut album of punk-rock rappers, the Beastie Boys. Produced by Def Jam Records’ Rick Ruben, this album successfully blended punk rock, metal, and hip hop to create a very unique sound and essentially create an entirely new genre. The revolutionary album went on to sell well over 5 million copies and was featured in Rolling Stone Magazine’s “Five Hundred Greatest Records of all Time”, ranking number 217.

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Far Cry 2: Tip of the Iceberg

As Zac hinted, I have chosen my most anticipated game,Far Cry 2, for the topic of my first post. I wouldn’t quite consider this a preview, just an introduction into what the game has to offer. As I have been limited to only one video to show, I have chosen this one for how it shows many of the games features such as fire propogation, wind effects, and unscripted AI. Note some of the things that Clint Hawking, Creative Director of Far Cry 2, says while watching. Expect a Review in the near future, but not before October 21(and because of the depth of the game a while after that!).