Author Archives: XAQuiri Daiquiri

[Game Review] Breach (Xbox Live Arcade)

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System: Xbox 360 (Live Arcade Exclusive)
Developer: Atomic Games
Publisher: Microsoft
Genre: First-Person Shooter

The first thing we need to get out in the open is that I am not a huge fan of first-person shooters. I don’t play Call of Duty, have never played Halo online, and am generally not interested in any FPS coming to the market. There have been exceptions where I’ve fully enjoyed FPS games, like with the recent Goldeneye 007 remake for the Wii and the Left 4 Dead franchise on the Xbox 360, but generally speaking I have very little interest in this type of game. However, when the folks behind Breach sent me an email with a code to download the game for free a few weeks before it came out, I decided to go ahead and jump on in.

Now that you know I’m not a fan of first-person shooters, you may think that I’m not the right guy to be reviewing this game. And really, I’m probably not. Especially if you’re a huge fan of the genre and want to know how it stacks up against the likes of Call of Duty. That said, I can definitely tell you whether or not this game is fun, and I can do so without dwelling over pointless comparisons to other games.

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[Restaurant Review] King Gyro’s of Terre Haute, IN

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Here’s a portion of a review on Does It Hit The Spot:

The most important aspect of any restaurant is its food, and in that aspect King Gyro’s performs phenomenally. The first thing you’ll notice while looking at the menu is the great amount of selection and diversity, ranging from burgers to fish to Italian beef  to BBQ chicken to poor boy to chicken nuggets to tenderloins to sausage to gyros, and the list goes on. If you’re a human being with a stomach, there is something on this menu for you.

Aside from having great selection, King Gyro’s food is absolutely delicious. I’ve been numerous times in the past couple of weeks, sampling something different each time I go, and everything I’ve tasted is just plain awesome. Easily the most delectable menu item is their gyro, which is such a fantastically amazing sandwich that I’m having trouble putting into words how phenomenally delicious it is. Inside of a gyro, you’ll find a very generous portion of their fantastic gyro meat, which is tender and flavorful, topped with fresh tomatoes, onions, and a cool sour cream cucumber sauce, and it’s all wrapped in a delicious piece of pita bread. Everything about it is just to die for. I went there with my girlfriend Kim, who is a vegetarian, and they even went out of their way to make her a vegetarian-style gyro that she says was delicious.

Read the full review on DIHTS.com!

[Food Review] Subway’s Buffalo Chicken Fiery Footlong

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Here’s a portion of a review on Does It Hit The Spot:

First I want to complain about the guy who made my sandwich. His name was Tony. Tony was new. Tony was very nice. Way too nice. Tony was so nice, he was completely obnoxious. Everything Tony said made me want to punch him in the balls with a knife. Tony had a loose bandage on the back of his neck, one that swayed and flapped in the breeze of the building’s air conditioning unit, spreading a wave of HIV with every flutter. At least Tony smiled, but Tony also had a habit of spitting when he attempted to pronounce certain words. Words like sorry, spit, and sandwich. I forgive you, Tony, for spitting on my sandwich.

Anyway, I got my Buffalo Chicken with Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, provolone cheese, heated instead of toasted, and topped with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onions, and ranch dressing. As is usually the case, the toppings were all fresh, the lettuce and cucumber were crispy, and the onions were crunchy.

Read the full review on DIHTS.com!

[Energy Drink Review] Xyience Xenergy: Lemon Blast

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Here’s a portion of a review on Caffeine Critic:

I’m sure that a lot of you who don’t know me assume that I’m an exceptionally fat, lazy sonofabitch that sits on his ass all day and does very little with the chemical energy I put into my body, instead letting it sit and be absorbed into my growing collection of pounds and thigh dimples. If you ask anyone who’s met me, they’ll tell you that, for the most part, you are right.

But that’s not true. I put my energy drinks towards great use to accomplish many amazing feats. No, not contracting diabetes. Jerks. I like to ride my bike a lot. I enjoy adventuring outdoors. I go to the gym every once and a while for strength training. But more important than any of those, I’m currently playing through Metroid Prime: Trilogy. The whole thing. All three games. From start to finish. I need the energy more than any physically active person out there.

So I figured since Xenergy is the official energy drink of the UFC, it would probably be up to the task of helping me collect all twelve artifacts in the first Metroid Prime.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Game News] Breach is Out Now for XBLA

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I recently got a download code for Breach, a fairly adequately anticipated XBLA first-person shooter that uses an innovative engine to create some pretty impressive destructible environments. I’ve been playing it a bit before I review it, as I’m trying to really gauge just how I feel about it. Anyway, while I’ve had my hands on it for a week or so now, it is finally available to the public on XBox Live Arcade. Here is a portion of the press release:

“We are proud to release an original title that has the quality and innovation of
a major retail game at a price anyone can afford,” said Peter Tamte. “By using technology
orginally built for Six Days in Fallujah, Breach offers features no one else can
match at any price. Our destruction and cover systems will forever change the way
games are played.”

Breach is unlike any other game. It is the first military shooter to use precise
and massive destruction to change the very nature of multiplayer combat. Combined
with an advanced cover system where players can use cover even while it is being
destroyed around them, Breach enables real-world tactics never possible before
now. Breach offers this destruction and active cover system all in a package that
costs less than US$20.00

To learn more about the game, head on over to the official website. Look for our review by February 1st.

[Energy Drink Review] Free Sin Vitality Drink: Greed (Lemon)

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Here’s a portion of a review posted on CaffeineCritic.com:

Sins you can commit without consequence are awesome. Things like becoming a Catholic Priest and swearing celibacy for The Lord only to turn around and molest small boys are usually fair game for all God-loving individuals. It’s also great to claim to love God and all of His children only to turn around and tell racist jokes about how worthless blacks and Mexicans are. Not to mention gay bashing. All of those sins are quite delightful, and there’s no way God would ever get mad at you for doing any of that!

This stuff isn’t a “Get Out of Hell Free” card, but instead a sugar free version of the Sin Vitality Drink I reviewed last week. Drinking Free Sin isn’t going to help you get away with murder in the eyes of our Father, unless you’re killing any man or woman of Middle-Easter descent, especially those bastards that built that Mosque by Ground Zero, but it does give diabetics that chance to Drink in Sin without losing their left foot a week later.

Be sure to read the full Caffeine Critic review by clicking here!

[Game Review] Disney Epic Mickey (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Junction Point Studios
Publisher: Disney Interactive Studios
Release Date: November 25, 2010
Genre: Action Adventure

I can’t tell you why, but something about this game had me more than just a little bit excited before its release. It was very strange, because I’m not generally interested in anything Epic Mickey had to offer. I’m not really a huge fan of Disney. I’m not one who cares greatly about decision/consequence gameplay. And the game’s biggest selling point to hardcore gamers, having Warren Spector behind production, didn’t excite me in least because I had no idea who that even was.

Still, I couldn’t help but getting hyped up for what I had convinced myself was going to be the next great Wii game. And then it actually hit store shelves, and the flood of reviews stating it was merely “average” or simply “good” caused my interest to wane immediately, and the game fell off of my radar until Christmas, when I received it as a gift from Santa Claus.

I can now confirm that the game is merely “good,” as many other critics have stated, but there is something special about Epic Mickey that makes the experience much more satisfying than I had expected.

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[Mobile Game Review] MiniSquadron (Android)

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Operating System: Android
Played on: HTC Evo 4G
Developer: Gray Fin Studios
Genre: Arcade
Cost: $2.99

I’m sure at least one other person has noticed that the Android Market is finally starting to build a decent catalog of mobile games. It took way too long, but it’s finally starting to happen. Games like the recently reviewed Radiant HD, the soon to be reviewed Game Dev Story, Angry Birds and Guns n’ Glory, and many others have finally given me something to do while waiting in line at the BMV or ignoring my World Literature lecture.

MiniSquadron is an arcade-style, 2D sidescrolling aerial dog-fighter (an airplane game with guns) that offers plenty of innovation, exciting game modes, and tons of different planes to unlock and use to blast your enemies into smithereens. If you have an Android phone, listen up. This review’s for you.

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[Energy Drink Review] Sin Vitality Drink: Greed

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Here’s a portion of a review from Caffeine Critic:

Sinning is bad. Sinning is deliberate disregard for the rules and regulations for human behavior set forth by the Holy Bible. And that is bad. If you don’t believe in the bible, sinning could be defined as disregard for the rules and regulations for human behavior set forth by society. You know, your peers, your friends, your social groups, cops. Especially cops.

Drinking Sin is nowhere near as bad as committing sin. Killing babies, drowning babies, punching babies, suffocating babies, burning babies, choking babies, dropping babies, spilling babies, throwing babies, bashing babies, tripping babies, pushing babies, mocking babies, eating babies, drinking babies, stealing babies, shooting babies, buying babies, selling babies, puking babies, cooking babies, losing babies, hiding babies, and mowing babies. Babies, babies, babies! What am I, some kind of Baby Rights Activist?

Come to think of it, no. No I’m not.

Don’t forget to read the full review!

[Energy Drink Review] Monster: Absolutely Zero

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Here’s a portion of a review on Caffeine Critic

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!