It’s often helpful to compare similarly styled bands in order for the reader of a review or opinion piece to understand the genre, type, or style of music the writer is talking about. Allow me to describe Owl City’s album Ocean Eyes in three words.
It’s freaking terrible.
Now, I’m going to elaborate on this because my beloved Editor-in-Chief will not allow me to post a 33 word review due to the fact that it lacks objectivity.
This album is twelve tracks of complete garbage. I honestly have heard very few albums that are this terrible start to finish. It’s pandering, redundant, boring, (negative adjective), (negative adjective), (negative adjective). Continue reading
You might not think you’ve heard of French band Phoenix, but I bet you have. There is a commercial currently on air produced by automobile staple Cadillac, and a Phoenix song from this very album is featured prominently in the advertisement, so much that the person driving the Caddy in the commercial is listening to Phoenix on their iPod in the car. But other than that, I would be surprised if this band had slipped through the more mainstream music cracks.
However, after listening to this 2009 album (as well as 2006’s It’s Never Been Like That) I can safely proclaim that as an outright tragedy, as this French quartet produces some of the catchiest, funnest, most upbeat Pop music in the World today. Continue reading
For folks with a penis, John Mayer usually crops up as an artist who you’re a “homo” if you listen to. Not only do I disagree, but I feel that Mayer has gotten a short stick in terms of people’s general impression of him. His first major album, Room For Squares, broke him out into the mainstream, and it was based on a couple of singles that his entire future musical catalog was condemned to be frat guy acoustic rock for girls. This impression couldn’t be farther from reality. Mayer has produced up until this year three quality albums out of three. His latest, Battle Studies, might in fact be his simplest effort yet, but the quality overall might be his most consistent since Heavier Things. Continue reading
A lot of people have a sour taste in their mouth when it comes to Pop Music. They think it’s all supposed to be sugary lyrics paired together with subpar music and a pretty face, and to a degree that is the case. The music industry gets behind acts of solo artists who are attractive and produce inoffensive music. The problem is, that music is pretty offensive to people with ears, who have to listen to it repeatedly on every freaking radio station within a 2,000 mile radius.
But there are bands/performers on pop music stations that don’t suck. My No. 1 example is always Justin Timberlake. That guy is freaking money. But for every Timberlake we get five Soulja Boy’s and their music pollutes our eardrums. Continue reading
Since the dawn of time, man has had music. With this music came the frustrating and foreign idea of “pitch,” with asserts that the music you make should sound a certain way. This notion has stunted the common non-talented man’s creativity for too long. That is why we came up with the auto-tuner, a small computer chip that is installed into one’s throat. This little marvel of technology gives the singer/cyborg the illusion of “knowing what the hell they’re doing when it comes to singing.”
You’re probably asking yourself, “Why don’t they just leave singing to people who know what they’re doing?” Continue reading