I’m not Catholic, but I love March, more specifically, Lent. You may be asking out loud “but Zackery, if you don’t believe in binge drinking, unprotected sex, and cursing for no apparent reason (all of which are common practices of the Catholic faith), then why would you care about Lent (the time of the year when the Catholic peoples quit eating certain foods for whatever reason)?”
The answer is simple, I love fish. You see, to serve the massive demographic of Catholics during this time of the year, fast food restaurants must accommodate their celebration of Jesus being stuck in a desert by serving fish. McDonald’s has their Fillet O’ Fish, BK has something similar, and Taco Bell has their new Shrimp Taco. Wendy’s? They’re offering the new Premium Fish Fillet.
Wendy’s main selling point for their “premium” fish sandwich is the fact that it is 100% North Pacific Cod. Whatever the Hell that means. I understand that when eating a Fillet O’ Fish from McDonald’s you have absolutely no idea what kind of fish you are eating, where it came from, or how it was raised, but I’m fine with that. Taking into consideration the fact that I have no idea where the Northern Pacific area of the world may be, I’m fine with eating whatever kind of square shaped “fish” “patty” the high school dropout in front of me puts in my sack.
Still, I wholeheartedly admit that Wendy’s Premium Fish sandwich is pretty tasty.The question you’ll have to ask yourself is if eating “premium” fish is worth paying a “premium” price? I mean, the sandwich alone is $3.99. When sat next to the current McDonald’s deal of $3.33 for two Fillets, that seems a bit absurd. I don’t care if Wendy’s got their fish from the Church of St. Monica or any local back alley whorehouse/surgery boutique, it’s a bit too much for me to want to spend, regardless of whether I’m gaining spiritual holiness or just genital warts in my mouth.
Enough tomfoolery, let’s talk about the ingredients. The bun is corn-powdered, making it easy to hold on to and giving it a decent texture, especially besting the aforementioned Fillet O’ Fish and its soggy steamed white bun. Under the hood you’ll find a tasty, chunky tartar sauce, which is certainly appealing though perhaps a bit overwhelming in volume. It looks like a horse blew its load into a cup and someone let it sit and coagulate for a couple of weeks before applying the entire amount of horse semen to the underside of the bun. I gagged, too. There is also a generously sized leaf of lettuce, which was in my encounter fresh and crisp.
The fish itself is, in all honesty, not much different from any other fast food fish patty I’ve encountered. Minced meat condensed and pressed into a square, breaded, and deep fried. The standout aspect of the patty was easily the breading, which was crisp and delicious, even a tad bit spicy, giving it a nice bite.
Were this sandwich a mere dollar cheaper, I would have no problem suggesting it to any broke Catholic man trying to feed his ridiculously large family of heretics. I would apologize for offending the Catholic lifestyle, but being a member of the Baptist Christian Church, it’s God’s will for me to piss you off.
I’m kidding, of course. Anyway, the bun is fairly tasty, much higher in quality of both texture and taste than the competition, and the lettuce was fresh and crisp. The overabundance of tartar sauce and lackluster quality of the fish were the glaring cons, of course. Overall the product is okay, maybe good, certainly not great. Let’s face it, if you are honoring the tradition of Lent by eating at a fast food establishment, you can’t afford this on a regular basis.
- Tasty bun
- Fresh lettuce
- Gross amounts of tartar sauce
- Disappointing fish
Final Score: 6.75/10 (Slightly Below Average)