I have a handful of tattoo plastered all over my body. I’ve got a few The Legend of Zelda-themed tattoos on my left calf, the beginnings of a Resident Evil quarter-sleeve, two Majora’s Mask references on my right forearm, a beautiful portrait of Ron Swanson on my left bicep, the word “zombie” (I was only 18, give me a break) on the inside of my lower lip, and the Super Smash Bros. logo tattooed on my left forearm. Also, a tattoo on my butt of Bender Rodriguez smoking a cigar.
So whenever I meat a new peer, you can bet they ask me where tattoos hurt. Well, first they ask me if anyone has told me that tattoos are permanent and are going to be there forever. Then they remind me that I get stupid tattoos.
I am always then ask “do tattoos hurt?”
Yes, they fucking hurt. Anyone who says otherwise is weird and probably a child predator. However, they don’t hurt so bad that any of the crying and bitching performed by middle-age men and dipshit sorority girls, but it is by no means a pleasant experience.
Do armpit tattoos hurt? Yes.
Nothing has ever hurt quite so bad.
Now, while I am not by any means a “tough guy,” nor am I blessed with something as generous as “well below average.”In fact, aside from the rolling fields of hair densely covering my body, I have no solid, undeniable evidence that I’m even a man.
– I have a Tyrannosaurus Rex tattooed on my arm pit.
– I had to endure the process of having a Tyrannosaurus Rex tattooed on my armpit.
Making your armpit roar: 9.0/10 (Impeccable)
The healing process: 1.2/10 (Itchy)
Pain Rating: 9.7/10
Overall: 6.3/10 (Not worth it, but totally worth it)
Needless to say I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to tattoos in stupid places, and be sure to check back for my next review: Getting Your Other Armpit Tattooed (Why??)