The Doritos Late Night line of snacks has found massive success almost entirely by word of mouth. And how could it not? I mean, in a market saturated with purely artificially flavored chips that taste kind of like the name on the bag suggests, it’s nice to be able to snack on something that actually tastes like Tacos or Jalapeno Poppers. I still remember my first bag of Tacos at Midnight. It lasted about 3.2 minutes.
The first new flavor since the now legendary line of chips launched has finally arrived in the form of All Nighter Cheeseburger. Trust me, if you love cheeseburgers, you will love these chips.
After excitedly tearing into my first bag of All Nighter Cheeseburger chips I was hit with an absolutely mouthwatering aroma. My teenage years of working as a softball umpire quickly rushed back to me. The trigger? The sweet smell of juicy, freshly grilled burgers, ketchup, and mustard. I remember being miserable, out there under the hot sun trying to pay attention to each play, tortured by the tantalizing aroma of the concession’s cheap beef patties. There is nothing as awful as being restricted from a delicious ballpark burger because you’re working.
This was my chance to make up for that. To remedy the mental scars set upon my mind and stomach, caused by the tantalizing aromatic endorphin floating through the air, the source of which was just out of reach. This is now more than snacking, this is redemption.
I grabbed that first little triangle, fingers trembling and mouth watering, and gently placed it on my tongue, praying I was able to avoid disappointment as I never could when I finally got my chubby hands around those shoddy, tasteless ballpark burgers.
Oh. My. God.
I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t think. My taste buds were blasted with more flavors than I could’ve imagined being crammed into a single chip. I could taste the sweet ketchup, the savory mustard, crisp onions and wonderful cheese sitting on top of a juicy, flavorful patty of meat. I could almost feel the texture of a real burger in my mouth. It was an outstanding first time that I shan’t soon forget.
Then I ate another. And another. And another. For half a bag I continuously stuffed these precious little corn chips into my mouth, and with each one the snack’s faults became more and more apparent. The flavor of the mustard slightly outweighs any other after a while, though not overpoweringly so. There is also a bit more onion kick than some would prefer. Also, don’t expect to kiss anyone after eating these. Your breath will stink. Nothing a piece of gum can’t fix, however. These issues are by no means any sort of deal breaker, and these chips are absolutely delicious.
Doritos Late Night: All Nighter Cheeseburger chips are absolutely fantastic. If you enjoy chips, try these. If you enjoy burgers, try these. If you enjoy living past the age of fifty, try these and be sure to eat them only in moderation. In short, I highly recommend Doritos Late Night: All Nighter Cheeseburger flavored chips to anyone. Except for vegetarians, due to the natural beef flavor listed in the ingredients. Unless you want it to be our secret, I won’t tell anyone.
- Mindblowingly delicious
- Smell like cheeseburgers
- Taste like cheeseburgers
- Flavored with all the things that go on cheeseburgers
- How can you not like cheeseburger Doritos?
- Terrible breath
- Maybe a bit too much mustard or onion for some people
- Not vegetarian friendly
- Being a softball umpire
Score: 9.5/10 (Outstanding)