[Food Review] Hardee’s Monster Biscuit

hardees-monster-biscuitThe food world is full of choices. White or wheat, rare or well-done, medium or large, regular fries or curly, single or double, hash browns or home fries, etc. The list goes on for what seems like forever and, quite frankly, it is overwhelming! But of all of the panic and pressure caused by any choice I’ve ever had to make at a restaurant, nothing has been as difficult to overcome as “ham, sausage, or bacon?”

Hardee’s understands me. They know me. They get who I am. They understand that making such a decision borders on impossible for some people, and they have a solution. The Monster Biscuit: ham, sausage, egg, and bacon all shoved into a single breakfast sandwich. Hallelujah.

Before we get any deeper into the review, let me say this. The Monster Biscuit is not for the feint of heart. No really, this thing could easily kill anyone with a weak heart or a history of heart disease in their family. I also recommend that pregnant women stay as far away from this thing as possible, unless they want their baby to go into cardiac arrest the moment it begins to crown. The 710 calories, 2250 mg of sodium and 51 grams of fat guarantee that.

The Monster Biscuit is a relatively simple beast in construction, consisting of biscuit bottom, ham, cheese, sausage, cheese, folded egg, bacon, and biscuit top. That is why it is called a Monster Biscuit. With such an ambitious title you would think that the thing would be intimidating to look at. Truth is, it is the exact same size as every other biscuit on the menu, albeit stacked a little taller.

In case you are worries about the three meats clashing, don’t be. The flavors mix wonderfully.The sweet, smokey shredded ham blends seamlessly with the spicy sausage patty, and both meats are complimented by the satisfying crunch of the crispy bacon. The only ingredient on the biscuit I found I disliked was the folded egg, but I dislike all fast food folded eggs.

However delicious it was, I won’t be eating another one of these any time soon. After finishing the Monster Biscuit I was bogged down for the rest of the day. It became immediately apparent eating it before work was a huge mistake. I was slow and tired for well over half of my shift, battling occasional waves of slight nausea no doubt caused by the irresponsible amount of sodium and fat in the breakfast sandwich. I could understand this being a decent treat for someone just coming off of the night shift and preparing to hit the hay, but this is not a good way to start your day.

Final Words

The Monster Biscuit is super-stacked with the three best breakfast meats out there. Sweet ham, spicy sausage, and crispy bacon with two slices of cheese and a fold of egg in between a biscuit sounds like a Godsend. In reality the exact opposite holds true. The disgustingly huge amount of fat, sodium and calories will make sure you have a terrible day.

If it’s your day off or you just want to lounge around and be lazy all day, this might not be a bad idea for your breakfast. If you’ve got to work or go to class, stay far away from this beastly biscuit.

Pros

  • Ham, sausage, and bacon!?
  • Pretty generous for $2.99

Cons

  • A ridiculous amount of sodium, fat and calories
  • It’ll bog you down for the rest of the day
  • Guilt caused from eating something you shouldn’t have

Score: 7.0/10 (Average)

9 thoughts on “[Food Review] Hardee’s Monster Biscuit


  1. Just looking at that picture makes me feel like I need to put in for two weeks sick leave.


  2. I’m going to go get this tomorrow. It’s my day off. Hell, I’m gonna have them add bologna to top that monster off.

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  4. Not sure if you’re aware of this:

    ” I could understand this being a decent treat for someone just coming off of the night shift and preparing to hit the hay, but this is not a good way to start your day. ”

    You have unintentionally written one of the most clever taglines for a breakfast sandwich, EVER. It rhymes.


  5. That “egg” looks like a yellow blanket neatly folded.

    Our Hardees are called Carl’s Jr. Same meaty crap…different name.

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  7. I have to be honest, I am a hearty eater and can put away a good amount of food in single sitting. I do have to say that I only eat once a day. So, arriving at our local Carl’s Jr.(known as Hardees elsewhere), I decide I can put 2 of these away. Not a bad deal at $3.25 each. I get home and am excited to sink my choppers into this wonderful looking delight. Within 15 minutes I was able to polish these things off. In no longer than 10 minutes my stomach is asking me, “what did you do”? I am now feeling like I have eaten a tank. For the rest of the day I wander between a deep coma or dashing to the bathroom for relief. The next morning (still suffering from intestinal rejection and projection I decide to look up what those gut bombs consisted of. After reading a somewhat lengthy list of preservatives, I did find the accual ingredients that were mentioned on the menu. Then I took a look at the nutritional values of this stomach anchor, I couldn’t believe the results. Not just the fact that they’re nearly 800 calories each, I consumed enough sodium and saturated fats that would give 2 elephants and a rhino a stroke. That was 2 days ago and I am still having bouts of the epizootics and keep my cell phone close at hand in fear of a complete heart failure at any moment. So, please before you decide to try one of these “MONSTERS” take a look at the make up of what might be your last meal. P.S. In favor of the “MONSTER” biscuit, it was very tasty…..

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