The good folks over at Starbucks are sponsoring a contest right here on Everyview and hooking five readers up with some pretty sweet prizes! It’s easy and free to enter (so long as you follow the rules included after the jump) and all you have to do is leave a comment for your chance to win a prize pack from Starbucks themselves.
The theme this time around is one anyone with a job will be easily able to relate with, at least if you are even remotely like any of us Everyview writers. Simply let us know what you do while at work to make it look like you’re working when you are actually not doing a damn thing to benefit your employing company.
We all do it, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And hey, maybe your technique for laziness could help some of the less skilled bums get by a little better.
Check out the rest of this article after the jump to read the rules and see the prizes you could win!
Five entrants will win a prize pack from Starbucks containing the following (valued at $30):
- Stealth Switch™ desktop cloaking device
- $5 Starbucks® Card
- Starbucks Doubleshot® Energy+Coffee coupons
- Starbucks Doubleshot® Energy+Coffee-branded white board
Or you could just look at this picture:
Rules:
- Make sure your comment goes with the theme (The best way to pretend you’re working)
- Only one entry per person
- Please include your valid email address when entering
- Any comments submitted after the contest ends will be discarded and not counted as an entry
Oh, and here’s some legal stuff Starbucks requires us to include.
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“This promotion is solely sponsored by Everyview and has not been endorsed or approved by North American Coffee Partnership. By entering, you agree to look solely to Everyview for any claims in connection therewith, and not the North American Coffee Partnership”
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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Subject to Contest guidelines. Open to U.S. residents only. Contest ends 11/09/2009. Void where prohibited.
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Starbucks Doubleshot® Energy+Coffee sent me samples of their product and here’s what I think. All the opinions expressed here are mine.
CONTEST OVER! ENTRIES WILL NO LONGER BE ACCEPTED! Winners will be randomly chosen and announced Friday, November 13th. Thanks for participating, and keep reading Everyview!
Well, Im a student so I don’t have too much work experience but I can relate this to a classroom setting. Everyone knew that computer classes in High school were jokes. So I would pretend to be doing something involved by keeping something important looking like excel open and occasionally asking somewhat rhetorical questions. Then in the background I would have a healthy dose of Pandemic II running and some good old fashioned solitaire.
I work at Greenleaf. It’s a plastics manufacturing company and we make pipe fittings and whatnot. It’s a factory job so, naturally, it’s lame. So any chance I get I don’t work. I either work on a press or I sit around and fill orders to who-knows-where. So to make thing fun I like to got catch spiders and then catch other spiders or hornets or some aggressive bug and make them fight to the death. Pretty sweet. If I’m not making spiders fight then I like to take a “long” dump. Always a good time consumer. Another good way to make things easier, if I’m doing an easy job, is to just take a long time on purpose. I do all kinds of things to get out of work or to make the day go by easier and quicker. I’m interested to hear what other people do!
I do not have that much work experience. But I would sit in the back of the store chatting with my co-workers (when the boss man wasn’t around) and every 10 mins or so I would walk to the front in full view of the cameras and maybe wash a few dishes or sweep up an invisible dirt spot, then head back to the back for some more relaxing.
you squint your eyes really hard and lean in close to the computer. sigh occassionally or mutter and shake your head. it seems like you’re really into your work.
i go to ivytech n wrk at kroger….and basically i scan groceries and bag if no baggers are around…..when im not busy im either bagging for someone or cleaning my register.
ok. so i work at kroger. And i work a lot but never actually work. ppl prolly steal so much shit while im there. lol. well, at this time i only work friday, saturday, and sundays. every friday and saturday *pm till 2am. I run U-SCAN. It is so boring, so I will grab my hand held thing and go shopping in the front isles, the ones where I can still se the U-SCAN. I also just pretty much do homework or read magazines all night long. especially after 10. thats when all the managers are gone. I dont do shit!!! and its night time so I make my $9.05 an hour!!!
8pm till 2. lol. just noticed i put a star
Anytime Clay Cunningham makes a new post, I like to picture him sitting by his stat counter, waiting for his read count to take off, and laugh hysterically because I’m sure I realize more than he does that it simply isn’t going to. I mean, I fucking WAIL with laughter. I can get away with it because I am the editor of a cartoon strip and people just think I’m laughing at the content. Unfortunately it’s led to the release of some awful cartoons, like one where a guy sets off a metal detector and says “oh, it must be my iron rich diet.” Ugh. But even though it makes me subpar at my job, I still love to laugh. And because of how much worse he’s making me at my job, it just gives me more incentive to see that idiot fail.
you nod a lot and make exclamations and talk about how hard you’re working to other coworkers
I work in an office and when I’m bored I read e-books, but since I just mostly scroll and my boss is in the office right next to me, I always click unnecessarily to make it sound like I’m busy. Or I’ll just type gibberish once in a while. Works like a charm!
LOL Rickey. It delights me to know that you are blaming me for the fact that you suck at your job. To have someone hate me that much is genuinely gratifying.
As for how I pass the time at work, I don’t really have many amusing stories because I don’t work anywhere where anyone notices if I’m working or not. That Starbucks prize pack in virtually on my mantle (or it would be if I, in fact, possessed a mantle).
SWEET, ENTER ME.
When I use to work I would reduce the thing that I had to work on and play on the internet for a little bit. Then when anyone would come buy my cubicle I would pop my work back up and no I never got caught, I’m just that good!
when i’m working there are a variation of different things i do to kick the kroger company in the crotch. one of the main things i do is “clean”. by clean, i mean walk around the store with a mop bucket for about half an hour. nobody asks what i’m doing (usually) and after awhile i just put the bucket up like nothing ever happened. also, while “cleaning” the restrooms, i do not actually clean. often, i sit in the stall and browse facebook. take that, society.
While working at Wal Mart in the stock room, I would start new things that the company didn’t originally do. They have these boxes of product that are just partial boxes, which aren’t supposed to be there. So I took my marker and marked all the boxes either partial or mixed. Definitely not something I was “supposed” to do, and it was much easier.
I work at Nassers Furniture. and dont do that much there. i will walk out on the sales floor. and stand behind things so they cant see me and i just stand there and text. or act like im dusting.
I have many techniques, all of which have been refined through years and years of work. The best part is, everywhere I’ve worked, I have been comended for my hard work and dedication. I will leave out specific business name to avoid trouble:
Pizza Delivery: This one was actually way too easy. Any time on deliveries where I needed to go do something like pick up a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger or get some fellatio from a girlfriend, I would simply come back after being out of the store for awhile (anything longer than would be expected for the deliveries), and exclaim, “Damn Trains!” Also, to add to this, I would often call the store in the middle of my “railroading” to keep up appearances.
But, trust me, I’ve done more than that to avoid work.
I work in a cafeteria and we have an extreme no cell phone policy which kiils me, so I do a little somthing I call poop-texting, just go into the bathroom stall, pull ur pants down and make some grunts while texting some friends about a party or play some brick breaker. Dont forget to flush and wash your hands.
I work in a corporate office which is micromanaged to hell. Often times I find myself using my phone to play games, surf the net, talk, text, or something of that nature. If someone asks me what I’m doing playing on my phone, I tell them that someone in Sales jacked their Blackberry up and I have to fix it — since we all have the exact same model.
It’s pretty easy to pretend to be helping someone when actually you’re just talking to friends or w/e.
I don’t even try to look like I’m not working anymore. I no longer have a boss on site. My boss is in New York and I’m in Maryland. I spend about 26 hours a week playing that home run derby game for the iPhone.
I can’t really say I pretend to work. Since I work with a bunch of halfwit douchebags, someone usually bust’s all sorts of ass while the rest do nothing. I tend to get that ass busting straw. But, best way to get by at MCL, say you need to go to the loft, or you need to go get stuff from the kitchen and viola! Do nothing for at least 10 minutes at a time.
When I waited tables I just stood around and ate when my bosses weren’t there. And when they were around I would bus tables or something. I almost got fired once for making a hook out of a paper clip and pretending to be a pirate.
Ok I just started working at this job where I’m a secretary. It’s SO boring sometimes. Basically what I do is answer phone calls and such but often no one freakin’ calls or if I have to do callbacks they don’t answer and I have to leave a voice mail. For the many, many ours I have, I just listen to music, read a book, or if my boss is at the office IM pretty much the whole time. Since it involves typing and such, she just thinks I’m working on one of the databases. I do actual work on that every now and then though
I work at a Cafe’.I make delicious drinks and what not. Other day’s I sit around and play COD4.
so i dont actually have a job, but im in a band, kinda the same thing, especially when the other bandmates are freakin goons! so when im wanting to make it look like im actually working or paying attention to the guitarists (stupid music theory) ill stare at them from behind my drums, but im really thinking about other crap, like how they cant ever stay in time
Well I have an internship at a very popular dentist’s office, and instead of typing up things things I am always on the internet surfing the web and visiting forums. When patients leave, I start chatting with them and leave the office, just to get some snacks at the stores and shops. Then I come and tell him stuff I made up about the patient that I supposedly learned during our walk to their car.
working at a movie theater and being paid to watch movies and kick kids off cell phones = way way wayyy better than having to pretend to not do things.
Hahahah love this! I hate my job, so I literally read blogs ALL day. It is very easy to make it look like I’m working – I just minimize the blog screen when someone comes by.
When I’m in the studio working for the “THE NEXT BIG BAND” to finish their crappy little demo, I check my email and buy new gear. No one ever questions a thing when pizza shows up at the door and no one makes a call LOL.
I usually switch between a few different blogs/social sites just because then it looks like I’m actively doing something productive on the computer.
At work when we have meetings and we’re supposed to be taking notes I just sit there and write short stories and doodle.
When DJing, I sometimes move a record back and forth and hold my headphones real close to my head like I’m doing something SUPER complicated.
I’m not though. I’m just moving a record back and forth and listening to the sound it makes.
Well, I work at a daycare so I can’t really pretend to work or children would die.
P.S.
ii L0V3 Y0U Z4C PR1TCH3R!!!1 H4V3 Mii B4Bii3Z!!!1!
Well, I work at a daycare so there really is no way to look like you are working there, you always are working.
But, in school its way easy. In my comp. class we are reading essays in class. Well, it looks like I’m reading an essay and pressing the keyboard to move the page down, when I’m actually playing some pin ball!
When I used to work at a grocery store, I would volunteer to gather cars, and while I was pushing them slowly around the lot I would play Tetris on my phone. Worked out pretty nicely.
I work as a dj and pretty much don’t do anything. Just sit there and move records back and forth. Woo!
i used to stand around writing down stuff in a notepad and make it look like i was thinking very hard, organizing my thoughts very carefully. i never got asked what i was writing down and no one ever bothered me while i was doing it. i used to also clean up around my workspace and take frequent trips to the sink to wash my hands. on top of that, i used to stand at the very back of the room as often as possible so that whenever the phone rang i wouldn’t have to answer (usually screaming customers). yeah i was a model employee, but then again, this wasn’t a ‘real’ job, it was an unpaid internship.
One of the best ways I try to appear busy is to write on my legal pad and keep looking at the computer screen, and then keep writing…it’s good to have a very serious face on as well!!!
So in our honors class I’ll have my laptop open. Instead of looking up retarded research websites and such, I’ll have some PokerStars loaded up.
Some helpful gestures may included:
- making direct eye contact with the teacher from time to time.
- give a head nod, let her know what’s up.
- maybe bs your way through a discussion answer to let her know that you really are paying attention, when, in fact, you really aren’t at all. just makin mo money.
I have had quite a few jobs, all of which I have found ways to appear to be busy and actually not be doing anything at all. When I worked at PacSun, I would grab shirts that were already folded and stand at the table folding them, mindlessly and slowly, so my manager wouldn’t tell me to do markdowns and other things. When I worked at Wal-Mart, I would pretend to be putting items back on the shelves that had been left at the registers so I wouldn’t have to go back to ring. I would just wander around the store, texting and such.
well when I was a wonderful McDonald’s worker at the truck stop on SR 59 and I wasn’t in the mood to clean the lobby or bathroom… I would just find some treys dirty or not and just wipe them down over and over to look as though i was busy, but i was really just hoping someone with more willingness to clean the toilet would beat me to it…and it worked pretty much evertime
I used to work at a CVS. While pretending to stock products, I would actually be texting or on the internet on my phone. One time I even got away with going up into the stock room to “check backstock” but actually curled up into a huge pile of leftover generic sweatshirts and sweatpants left over from the winter season. I fell asleep and had a good 2 hour nap. No one ever knew.
When I worked at Wal-Mart, I would occasionally have to be a door greeter. Since I don’t much care whether or not people felt welcomed into the store, I generally devoted this time to leaning on the wall and ranking the attractiveness of the outfits of people walking by on a scale of one to ten. Or if I was feeling particularly judgmental, just ranking the person’s attractiveness in general.
I work at Jimmy John in Terre Haute, Indiana. There isn’t much to my job in the first place, so pretending to work is something I’ve hardly ever had to do. However, if I am planning on washing away a good “chunk o’ minutes” from the (very few) hours I get at work by doing nothing, I usually start by grabbing a bottle of Windex and some paper towels and hitting up the Mens restroom for a 15-20 minute relief/relaxation period. All the while pretending to be in there cleaning. After I’ve had a movement (or 2) I usually snap a photo with the camera on my phone and send it to one of my trusted, innocent employees. Jon Moore usually. Although I am spending a great portion of time in the restroom on excommunicating waste from my meals prior, I do end up cleaning the restroom after-all. Just in case my nosy boss decides he would like to know what I did with all my time spent in the lavatory. The only thing hard to cover up is the smell of my long forgotten bungee snaps. (For the record I just coined the phrase “bungee snaps” right now for use in this paragraph.) All in all, my job is cake and we get to eat it too.
P.S. or I just pretend to take out some trash and smoke a cigarette instead.