I never said I wasn’t a little behind the times.
That title is a tad misleading. I still have my entire scrotum and its contents swinging safe and sound between my thighs, so worry not.
Like seventy-eight years after it became such a “cool” fad, I have broken down and gotten a Twitter account. I feel like if I repeat my mantra, “I am not a douche, I am not a douche…” then I will be fine.
Why I did it? I honestly don’t know. Boredom maybe. A desire to create witty twats throughout the day to the joy of a nation. To show people how in tune to pop culture I am, perhaps. Or somehow create my own sheep who will follow me to the light!