Some of the greatest things you’ll ever do in your life are natural. Nudity is the first thing that comes to my mind, but some people think that having a natural and healthy diet and lifestyle can be the most rewarding thing out there. They’ve obviously never ran through the public park naked.
So for those of you who are afraid to tear off your boxers and show off what your momma (or God, depending on your religious views) gave you, there are drinks like G Pure Energy, a zero calorie energy drink that is formulated to give you a kick in the pants (unless you don’t wear pants, like myself) without the diabetes.
Can G Pure Energy: Lulo Lime really feel more natural than nudity? No, but at least it won’t get you arrested.
Contained within the elegant glass bottle is a crystal clear liquid that possesses a very soft, light lime aroma. The gentle citric aroma isn’t one that will cause your mouth to flood like other lime-flavored beverages, but it is very fitting with the natural image Pure conveys. It is obviously a natural perfume that won’t overpower the drink, or get between you and your enjoyment of this beverage.
Going hand in hand with Lulo Lime’s soft aroma is an equally gentle flavor, consisting mainly of sweet lime with a slight sourness. It’s a very light flavor that, in a refusal to risk seeming overpowering to some consumers, actually ends up being far too subtle for the majority of consumers. Pure also possesses a sparkling texture that is very comfortable on the palette at first but will eventually seem almost sudsy, which detracted from my enjoyment of the drink. Ending on a positive note, there is no unpleasant aftertaste to speak of, and Lulo Lime is moderately refreshing.
Just as the name “Pure” implies, G Pure Energy uses a “pure” formula. While this approach definitely appeals to a certain demographic, i.e. ritzy health freaks that enjoy not having to open their mouth to breathe, it doesn’t much appeal to a neck-bearded mouth breather such as myself. The “pure” formulas just don’t work, making me honestly question whether or not they should be considered energy drinks. While you get a slight uplifting boost from G Pure Energy, you’re not going to get the kick you’re likely looking for.
In terms of value, G performs pretty weakly. Lulo Lime comes in a 6.8 oz single serving container for a whopping $3.00. I really can’t think of any explanation for it. You’re essentially just paying for a bottle full of an average-tasting drink with a lackluster kick. And while the bottle is certainly gorgeous, it’s not worth three Washington’s by a long shot.
I really, really wanted to like G Pure Energy: Lulo Lime. In fact, I did like it until I started writing this review. During that process I realized that the kick was almost non-existent, it is ludicrously overpriced, and it’s flavor and aroma are short of anything but charming. I recommend G for people who want a sweet bottle (edjunkie I’m looking right at you), but I simply cannot recommend it in any other way.
- Soft lime aroma and flavor
- Most beautiful container I’ve ever seen for any energy drink
- Sudsy texture
- Laughably weak kick
- You’d better enjoy that glass bottle. It was expensive
Score: 5.2/10 (Mediocre)
Aroma: 7.0/10 (Good)
Flavor: 6.75/10 (Average)
Kick: 2.0/10 (Terrible)
Value: 5.0/10 (Mediocre)