Re-Review: The Volcano Taco

Overview:

When the Volcano Taco disappeared from Taco Bell’s lineup, mass depression settled over these United States, throwing the once hopeful souls of the eaters who had once lived off of red shells and Lava Sauce into the the darkest depths of Hell along with the memory of their precious taco. People took their own lives, children drowned their grandmothers, kittens were killed, and darkness engulfed the Earth*.

tacobell-volcano-reviewFinally our hero rises from Hell, bringing with it an immense heat capable of thawing the coldest of hearts and filling the darkest souls with an immense, pure light. But will it be enough? Will we remember the Volcano Taco the way it was before being cast into Satan’s Inferno? Will we even remember how to smile? It’s review time.

* = Lies

Re-Review:

Wait, “Re-Review?” Longtime readers may remember that we’ve actually already reviewed the Volcano Taco once before. In fact, it was the second thing reviewed on Everyview. Since the removal from the menu, however, my memory has grown rusty and clouded with forgetfulness. If you want to read the original review, you can find it here. It is very poorly written and outdated, however, so I suggest just sticking with this one.

The Volcano Taco is essentially your standard crunchy taco with a couple of small changes that make a gigantic difference. The first and most noticeable differentiation between the two is the Red Shell, swapped in to replace the standard yellow corn shell. The second, more important addition is the inclusion of Lava Sauce, and extremely spicy and flavorful condiment.

It is worth noting that the Red Shell itself contains no heat or spice whatsoever. It is simply died red to give a warning that says “Eat me now, pay for it later.”

Since the Lava Sauce is the only ingredient that makes a difference in taste, let’s take a slightly closer look at that. Most people think that Lava Sauce would be absolutely unbearably spicy, which is untrue. The lava sauce isn’t even as hot as the Fire Sauce in all honesty, but possesses a deep, rich flavor that perfectly compliments the flavored beef, lettuce and cheese that top the taco and provide a decent amount of flavorful kick that is sure to satisfy but not overpower.

If you’re the kind of person who has to do things to prove to yourself that you aren’t as worthless as your drunk Mother has been telling you since you were 7 years old, then eating one of these is cheating. It’s no where near as hot as portrayed in commercials, so if you’re looking for a self-fulfilling challenge to be proud of c0mpleting, throw a pack or so of Fire Sauce on top and get ready to sweat.

One thing I have noticed is that the return has brought a higher price tag with it. What was once an 89 cent value menu item now runs around $1.19 (price may differ by region), an entire 40 cents more. I guess the original price was simply a part of its promotional campaign, but such a jump is rather ridiculous in my humble and admittedly cheap opinion. However, it’s definitely worth it and $1.19 isn’t too much to pay for something this delicious.

Final Words:

I walked in to the Taco Bell right next to my place of employment the day these came out. The cashier, who recognized me from my frequent visits to the store during my lunch break, instantly knew what I was after. I used to pop these tacos like addicts pop pills, like needles pop balloons, like people with virgin fetishes pop… well you get the point.

They are absolutely delicious and manage achieve the perfect balance of heat, placing flavor before spice. Even the 40 cent price raise can’t be held against it since the original price of 89 cents was for a limited-time promo deal only. I highly recommend these to anyone with a preference for spicy foods.

Pros

  • I never thought I’d be able to order a Volcano Taco again
  • The distinctive Red Shell
  • Lava Sauce achieves the perfect balance of heat and flavor

Cons

  • You’ll pay for it later. Trust me

Score: 8.8/10 (Great)

Taste: 9.5/10 (Delicious)
Ingredients: 9.0/10 (The smallest changes make the biggest differences)
Value: 8.0/10 (40 Cents more than a standard crunchy taco)

6 thoughts on “Re-Review: The Volcano Taco


  1. “I used to pop these tacos like addicts pop pills, like needles pop balloons, like people with virgin fetishes pop… well you get the point.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Hilarious.

    Great review, my insides become my outsides if I eat too many of these so I try to stray away. And I like how you brought up the 40 cent price raise. That sucks.

  2. Seth Mutchler (has plans tonight, if by "has plans tonight" you mean will fuck your mother)No Gravatar on said:

    I had three last night! Sadly though, they were not the best Volcano Tacos I’ve had, the lettuce was slightly old, and they weren’t as hot as they could have been (in terms of temperature). If this were any other TB item, I’d be pissed, but nothing can ruin a VOLCANO TACO!!!!!


  3. Hahahaha. There were a couple of HILARIOUS parts in this review, thumbs way up. Seriously, great job, I loved it.

    I don’t like volcano tacos, though. They taste kind of…. musky to me.


  4. Couldn’t agree more. I used to get grande meals with all volcano tacos but now it costs extra. Boo inflation!

    Volcano burrito is damn good, too.


  5. I LOVE THIS TACO!!!!!!!!! GREAT REVEIW SHOULD BE SENT TO TACO BELL’S HEAD OFFICE!

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