[Drunk Game Review] BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II (Nintendo 3DS)

I’m drinking this really awful wine. It’s called The Naked Grape and is an attractive-looking California pinot noir. Peanut noir, lol. Anyway, I’ve been so tired of not having a vast array of games on my new 3DS, that every game that comes out piques my excitement to the point where I run out and buy it ASAP.

My stomach hurts.

Such was the case with BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II. As I’ve said in my previous two reviews for fighting games on the 3DS, I’m just not that in to fighthing games. I like DOA: Dimensions a lot, and I got plenty of fun out of Super Street Fighter 4: 3D Edition, but I really don’t need yet ANOTHER fighting game to play. I knew that. Consciously even. I considered turning around on my way to the store, thinking that I really didn’t want the game. I just wanted more games for my 3DS. This is awful wine. Why am I drinking cheap-ass wine? I’m not a teenage girl.



Ok, so I played this game a little bit earlier and was unable to enjoy it. It’s too damn hard. Lol, Squidbillies is on TV. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s the episode with truck balls or whatever. Now there’s blood inside the window. And a face on the floor. Oh. A Bunch of baby squids. Lifeguard on Booty. This show is gross.

Anyway, it’s just too damn hard. It took so long to learn how to be compitant at SSFIV, and this game seems even harder to learn. I’m not a hardcore fighting fan. Why did I buy this game?

I’m playing it now, too. I went through the whole tutorial and I’m still not good. I’ve only had it for one day I suppose, and I should probably put more effort into learning it before I judge it. But you want to know what? I don’t care. No one is going to read this anway. I can write whatever I want. I was abducted shortly after turning 21, but I escaped. I hate cutting grass. I need to clean my house. I have an ocarina. I’ll play it. I played some Zelda songs, and that DJ Sandstorm song. I’m so excited for Ocarina of Time 3D. I have two Zelda tattoos.

Anyway, the other fighting games I have for the system both offer “touch-a-combo” feature. This game? Nope. And it feels sluggish compared to either SSFIV or DOA. Seriously, don’t take my word for it. Go read a reputable review. I’m drunk and I don’t know how to play fighting games. I know how to ride a bike and I know how to watch Squidbillies.

I have to pee.

This game is hard. I was just playing it, and accidentally made some bullshit shadow shark thing come out of the ground. I don’t know how I did it, nor do I know who I was playing as. Also, one character has an umbrella that’s also a cat or something. Lol on Squidbillies Earl is getting run over by a train. It reminds me of that movie “Where the Heart Is” or some dumb shit like that. About the Walmart Mommy. Haha. What an awful movie. There’s a scene where they’re in a basement and a tornado sucks her out almost so she holds on to the step and catches a teddy bear. That’s not how that shit would go down in real life. I hate Lifetime.

Final Words:

Ugh. This review sucks. I suck at this game, so I hate it. I’m going to take it back and use it as full cash credit toward OoT 3D. Now that’s a game I will be able to review. This review? Just ignore it. I don’t know what I”m  talking about. I know nothing about fighting games, or this franchise or anything else. I just know that I didn’t like it. So if you’re not a fan of hardcore fighting games with steep larning curves and deep combo systems and stuff, then don’t buy this game. I did so you wouldn’t have to.

If you do like fighting games, however, that’s a differnt story. It has plenty of modes, plenty to do, and seems like the kind of game that a hardcore fighting fan would love. I’ve not read any other reviews, otherwise I would have told you what they said. Go read a real review. I’m going to be hungover tomorew because I’m drinking whiskey now. Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey. Good stuff. Doesn’t mix well with coke though. Tastes better straight. Ugh. I’m sad. Let’s be friends. I hate myself.

Score: approx. 7.0/10 (I don’t know what I’d say if I cared enough to play the game more before reviewing it. I’m just a drunken idiot. Ignore me.)

The Naked Grape Score: 1.0/10 (I puked. Wine shouldn’t get you so drunk that you puke in less than 45 minutes. And it also should taste lik wine. Not shit.)

Leave a Reply