When one promises to do a series of reviews, they should probably take into consideration if anyone actually cares enough about the topic to merit additional posts.
Oh well, I promised to review all three new Mountain Dew Flavors, and seeing as how I’m contractually obligated to do so, here’s my take on Distortion.
Of all the new Dew flavors competing to find a permanent spot on store shelves nationwide, Distortion, a “lime blasted Dew,” seemingly has the biggest obstacle to overcome. Both the drink and the bottle look almost identical to the company’s trademark regular flavor, making it almost impossible for a casual shopper to differentiate it from a bottle of regular Mountain Dew. Ultimately, this would just lead to customer disappointment, as regular Mountain Dew is quite a bit better.
Even more perplexing about the bottle is that it was the result of a fan design contest. Apparently the best anyone could do with a lime flavored mountain dew is a regular Mountain Dew bottle without the sketches of mountains. So congratulations Ben Stone, you’ve accomplished the equivalent of winning an art contest by painting American Gothic sans the pitchfork.
As for the taste, it’s nothing to get excited about. I thought it tasted more like an Icee than a soft drink, and I’m not much of an Icee fan. Ultimately, this drink was a bit syrupy for my taste.
Distortion also had an odd aftertaste that I wouldn’t call terrible, but I wouldn’t call it good either. It’s just sort of a kick in the back of your throat that ultimately proves to be a bit annoying if you don’t take care of it promptly.
One area Distortion did pass was the “does it help wash down greasy food?” test. I combined it with a slice of the same brick-sized pizza I referenced in my Typhoon review and it did help ease it into my system, though I didn’t really think the flavors enhanced each other as well as they would have with Typhoon or Code Red.
One gets the impression the lazy art design Mountain Dew gave Distortion indicates the company wasn’t fully on board with pushing it into the public domain, so odds are they won’t find this modest review all that unflattering.
It’s not that this is an awful drink, or even a bad one. In fact, if the Icee taste I described above sounds tempting to you, you will likely enjoy this drink more than I did. However, it’s modest at best flavor and odd aftertaste ultimately leads me to give this one a pass.
Final Score: 6.5/10 (Below Average)
I’ll be back in a matter of hours with my review of the final Dewmocracy entry, Whiteout.