I love Rally’s, which a lot of people find weird. I think it is because most people automatically connect Rally’s with their NASCAR promotions. And when people think of NASCAR, they think of white trash. While I don’t consider myself to be white trash, I live in what could easily be considered a white trash town. The city of Terre Haute, IN is a place where you’ll find plenty of overweight dudes with mullets and tattoos of Satan living in a garbage receptacle on their forearm. It’s a place where a vast community of meth addicts take pride in how many teeth they have lost and enjoy showing off their needle tracks. A place where, if you’re lucky, the sewage plant is overflowed and the whole city smells like human feces.
Needless to say this city runs through my veins, and it is with my heritage that I have inherited a fondness for mullets and a love for Rally’s. I was fairly excited earlier today when I drove up through the drive-thru, craving something cheap and greasy, and saw a sign for their new $1 Unbelieva-Burgers. What a deal! I ordered the Bacon Cheddar Crisp, figuring it would be my safest best as it easily seems like the most accessible of the three burgers, got some fries and a soda, and drove off to enjoy my cheap meal.
Only, I found it to be impossible to enjoy. Sure the fries were fantastic, but this burger? It is unbearably terrible. The bun is glued shut with a mixture of a handful of lukewarm ketchup and cheese-like sauce, which has the distinct flavor of regurgitation. The meat patty would be fine, but it is ruined by the mess of condiments that are on top of it. The bacon? Also ruined by the glob of yellow and red ooze that literally makes me gag with every bite.
Though, I’m pretty sure the bacon wouldn’t have been any good anyway. Instead of being even remotely crispy, as the name suggests, it is gooey and stringy, getting caught in the impossible-to-reach-without-a-toothpick areas between my teeth. Any bacon flavor that may have been in existence is diluted in the vomit inducing shitfest that is the Bacon Cheddar Crisp.
This is probably the single worst hamburger I’ve ever eaten. The only thing unbelievable about this “Unbelieva-Burger” is the fact that I haven’t puked yet.
- A waste of a dollar
- Disgusting combination of warm ketchup with vomit flavored cheese-like sauce
- Bacon is stringy, flavorless, a gooey
- Literally may be the worst burger I’ve ever had
Score: 1.0/10 (Beyond Disgusting)