[Food Review] Wild Cherry M&M’s

Overview:

When I saw Wild Cherry M&M’s at a local shopatorium, I thought to myself, “boy, that sounds like a horrific combination of flavors.” But, being the trooper that I am, I decided to give them a go so as to give the Everyview public my honest opinion.

And honestly, they suck.

Review:

The candies come in two shades of red. One is dark, one is lite, and both are vile. The product is milk chocolate, but combined with the cherry shell, it tastes more like dark chocolate, which I hate.

But even if you like dark chocolate this will be too much for you. We’re talking super dark. As I chomped away, struggling to force this repugnant creation down my throat, I had to consistently remind myself that I was eating candy and that I hadn’t mistakenly grabbed a charcoal briquette.

Then there’s the aftertaste. It maintains the dark chocolate taste, which I hate, and adds a nice, equal mixture of what seems to be potpourri. The only mistake bigger than eating this disgusting candy would be to do so without a beverage nearby. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a beverage sanctioned by the FDA. If it’s been raining, go out and drink from a puddle. No matter how repugnant the liquid, its flavor will be a welcome replacement from this embarrassment to the usually reliable M&M name.

The asking price for cherry M&M’s is a pretty standard fare at $.85. While that isn’t a ripoff in terms of the amount paid, when you factor in taste, you could charge a tenth of that and it would still be a bad deal (especially when you factor in that one-tenth of $.85 is $.8.5, and that cutting currency in half is a crime. Trust me, this is the last candy you should want to go to jail for). There’s not a price low enough to make me ever approach these again and I would encourage anyone who reads this to heed my advice and stay away as well.

Final Words:

I like M&M’s. I enjoy their plain, peanut and even peanut butter varieties very much. I also find cherries to be a nice compliment to a vast array of iced cream products. But I didn’t think these were two entities that ever needed to cross, and this skepticism was not only confirmed, but greatly enhanced the second these God-awful candies infected my taste buds.

This is one of the worst culinary mash-ups I’ve witnessed since the time I watched my brother eat a carrot he stuffed inside of an ink pen. But where as my brother was simply a curious nine-year-old who failed to realize such an act would make said carrot taste like ink, this decision was made by well paid (I assume) candy executives who should have known better. Here’s hoping justice is promptly served and this disgusting and unnecessary product is pushed into the permanent oblivion it deserves.

Final Score: 1.5/10 (One point for each shell I was able to finish)

8 thoughts on “[Food Review] Wild Cherry M&M’s

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention [Food Review] Wild Cherry M&M’s -- Topsy.com

  2. I suppose if we all liked the same thing, there would be a terrible shortage of haggis. I can’t see how anyone could dislike these, though; they’re awesome! If you find youself with an excess of cherry M&Ms, I’ll be happy to eat them for you. *noms another couple*

  3. I feel like I have already left a comment on here, but I don’t see one so here it is. If you ever are sitting around feeling like “Wow, I’d really like to send Sara a package,” I would gladly accept these. I LOVE cherry, and I LOVE dark chocolate. I pretty much don’t agree with your sense of taste on anything, so I have a strong feeling I’d love these. Have you tried the coconut ones? YUMMO!!

  4. Pingback: The Five Most Unnecessary Candy Concotions Of All Time | DIHTS

  5. wow! we must live on different planets that have different recipes for the delicious morsels known as wild cherry m&m’s. i tried them & thought they were among the list of most amazing food items i have put in my mouth. they are delightful in my opinion – mind you i’m a big fan of cherry.

  6. I completely disagree! Wild Cherry M&M’s very quickly became my absolute favorite candy and I am so sad they are no longer available! They are beyond delicious, and I don’t even care for cherry flavored candy all that much.

  7. I absolutely LOVE cherry M & Ms!! Totally disagree with your review. How can u say its a horrific combination? Guess you never heard of chocolate covered cherries!! Just sorry they’ re so hard to find.

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