When I saw Wild Cherry M&M’s at a local shopatorium, I thought to myself, “boy, that sounds like a horrific combination of flavors.” But, being the trooper that I am, I decided to give them a go so as to give the Everyview public my honest opinion.
And honestly, they suck.
The candies come in two shades of red. One is dark, one is lite, and both are vile. The product is milk chocolate, but combined with the cherry shell, it tastes more like dark chocolate, which I hate.
But even if you like dark chocolate this will be too much for you. We’re talking super dark. As I chomped away, struggling to force this repugnant creation down my throat, I had to consistently remind myself that I was eating candy and that I hadn’t mistakenly grabbed a charcoal briquette.
Then there’s the aftertaste. It maintains the dark chocolate taste, which I hate, and adds a nice, equal mixture of what seems to be potpourri. The only mistake bigger than eating this disgusting candy would be to do so without a beverage nearby. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a beverage sanctioned by the FDA. If it’s been raining, go out and drink from a puddle. No matter how repugnant the liquid, its flavor will be a welcome replacement from this embarrassment to the usually reliable M&M name.
The asking price for cherry M&M’s is a pretty standard fare at $.85. While that isn’t a ripoff in terms of the amount paid, when you factor in taste, you could charge a tenth of that and it would still be a bad deal (especially when you factor in that one-tenth of $.85 is $.8.5, and that cutting currency in half is a crime. Trust me, this is the last candy you should want to go to jail for). There’s not a price low enough to make me ever approach these again and I would encourage anyone who reads this to heed my advice and stay away as well.
I like M&M’s. I enjoy their plain, peanut and even peanut butter varieties very much. I also find cherries to be a nice compliment to a vast array of iced cream products. But I didn’t think these were two entities that ever needed to cross, and this skepticism was not only confirmed, but greatly enhanced the second these God-awful candies infected my taste buds.
This is one of the worst culinary mash-ups I’ve witnessed since the time I watched my brother eat a carrot he stuffed inside of an ink pen. But where as my brother was simply a curious nine-year-old who failed to realize such an act would make said carrot taste like ink, this decision was made by well paid (I assume) candy executives who should have known better. Here’s hoping justice is promptly served and this disgusting and unnecessary product is pushed into the permanent oblivion it deserves.
Final Score: 1.5/10 (One point for each shell I was able to finish)