That’s the word that first crossed my mind when I spotted the box for Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake sitting in the frozen aisle at the grocery at which I’m humbly employed. If I properly recall, it was about 8:00 in the morning, time for the first break of my 6AM to 2:30PM shift, and nothing sounded better for breakfast than this gorgeous looking ice cream cake.
I know what you’re thinking. “Hey fatty, ice cream cake isn’t cereal!” Shut your mouth, yes it is.
From looking at the image on the box, the Viennetta cake looked to be made from actual cake as well as ice cream. After getting the real thing out and ready to eat however, I realized that this was just a huge block of pure ice cream with nothing but thin layers of chocolate shell on top of and throughout the dairy brick to provide any sort of variation in the monotonous texture.
Despite the fancy construction of the creamy brick, there is nothing rich about its flavor. The ice cream itself is more mild in flavor than I would’ve like, tasting like a cheap generic branded dessert. The chocolate shell layers are also equally under flavored. Partner a monotonous texture that complete tires out on your palette with two underwhelming flavors, and this becomes a dessert that you’ll have trouble finding inspiration to eat eat past the initial serving.
Now that I’ve eaten the Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake, that’s the word that I feel best describes it. The gorgeous architecture of the dessert isn’t enough to make this a dairy cake worth experiencing.
- It looks gorgeous
- Eating ice cream cake for breakfast
- Completely bland flavors
- Monotonous flavor
- Getting diabetes from eating ice cream cake for breakfast
Score: 6.25/10 (Below Average)