Review: Hicks

Just to let you know, this definitely isn’t a rant.

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Smart people, idiots, and people who don’t have full control over their bowels. Hicks fit into those latter two categories almost perfectly, except, their bowels usually come out of their toothless mouths instead of their ass holes. That’s another perfect word for hicks. Ass holes. Not because they are dicks, but because that’s almost exactly what they smell like. So basically what I’ve said so far is that hicks are semi-autistic ass holes who can’t keep their shit to themselves.

Nothing pisses me off more than a fucking retard who plasters his car with rebel flag stickers and fake bullet holes. Seriously. I just talked to some moron who told me he had 150 feet of rope in the back of his car. When I asked him why he told me it was because there were some pretty tall trees where he lives. No joke. What kind of retarded-ass cock sucker says that shit? This kind:

I had to censor his face because it looked too much like an ass.

Now, I don’t hate every “camerflage” hat wearin’, “terbakker” chewin’ “sonfabitch” in America. Just the really fucking stupid ones who don’t even realize just how ignorant to common sense they really are. I’d like to punch this fucker in the face and give him a Bible. Hell, I’d even hire Toby Keith to sit there and read the son of a bitch to him since he’s too fucking illiterate to read it him damn self.

Fuck, I need a dip.

Final Words:



  • Stupid sonsabitch
  • Smell like horse shit and cow semen
  • Camouflage
  • As many teeth as an armless man has fingers


Smell like: Shit/10
Teeth are the color of: Shit/10
Must brush their teeth with: Shit/10
This was obviously a: Rant/10

Fuck country music and sawn off shot guns, by the way.

0 thoughts on “Review: Hicks

  1. Hahahahahhaahaha! Man I haven’t laughed as hard in a while. I loved the part about an armless man and his fingers. Don’t liaten to that kyle kid this was funny and true. But you wrote sawn of instead of sawn off.

  2. yea.. i sort of disagree. those guys you are making fun of do things that there is no way most people can do.. as in produce the food we eat. corn, beans, wheat.. you know some of our main staples. but yea i know its a joke. but still.. its not as bad as all the people who wear their pants at their ankles saying “niggah fuck that shit cuz” thats way more anoying.. and more retarded that they get women pregnant and then leave them. “hicks” don’t do that.

Leave a Reply