I never said I wasn’t  a little behind the times.

That title is a tad misleading. I still have my entire scrotum and its contents swinging safe and sound between my thighs, so worry not.

Like seventy-eight years after it became such a “cool” fad, I have broken down and gotten a Twitter account. I feel like if I repeat my mantra, “I am not a douche, I am not a douche…” then I will be fine.

Why I did it? I honestly don’t know. Boredom maybe. A desire to create witty twats throughout the day to the joy of a nation. To show people how in tune to pop culture I am, perhaps. Or somehow create my own sheep who will follow me to the light!

So with all that said people, come and “follow” me by following this link. I need the self-respect. And if you aren’t following Everyview’s twitter already, go ahead and do that now.