[Absurdly Delayed Editorial Rebuttal] Away We Go (2009)

All the way back on Oct. 7, 2009, Everyview contributor Andrew Majors penned a positive review for the independent dramady film Away We Go, giving it a 7.75/10.

At the time, I hadn’t seen the film, so naturally I had no problem allowing him to express his mostly positive opinion. Tragically, I did eventually have the misfortune of watching this movie, which I found to be an appalling piece of arrogant dreck that Mr. Majors rated 7.75 points too high.

And while I would never force one of our contributors to alter his opinion to match mine, I couldn’t in good conscious give off the impression that his views formed an overall consensus at the Everyview HQ (which isn’t so much an office as it is a house/daycare center in a sketchy part of Terre Haute, IN). Because of that, and the sad fact that I literally don’t have anything current to write about, here is my ridiculously out-of-date recount of one of the most torturous film-viewing experiences I will ever encounter.

Continue reading

[Book Review] “Behind The Bell” by Dustin Diamond

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always loved Saved By The Bell. Sure there are detractors who will say the show is “lame” and “predictable” and “an inaccurate depiction of high school” and “in one episode, the Bayside gang makes a documentary in which they were inexplicably able to film dream sequences.” And while all that’s true, I never felt ashamed for liking it.

Well, that all changed recently, as my fandom overpowered my better judgment, causing me to spend money on Behind The Bell the behind-the-scenes tell all by Dustin Diamond, known to SBTB fans as Samuel “Screech” Powers. Not only is this the worst book I have ever read, it’s the only published work of any kind that has ever caused me to feel intense envy for the illiterate.

Basically all you need to know about this book is that the actor who played Screech hated his cast mates as well as many other aspects of the Hollywood life and decided to exact his revenge by writing this torturous excuse of a memoir.

Continue reading

At The Movies Retrospective Pt. 1: Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz

By September 2008, all shreds of At The Moviesas it once was were gone. Gene Siskel was long dead, Roger Ebert had lost the ability to speak due to a bout with thyroid cancer and Richard Roeper, who replaced Siskel following his death, left the balcony after eight years due to failed contract negotiations.

Even the show’s most notable trademark, the “Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down” grade were gone (Ebert retained the rights which he kept for himself), replaced with the far less memorable “See It,” “Rent It” and “Skip It.”

Hoping to “take the program in a new direction,” producers appointed E! Online columnist Ben Lyons and Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz as the new co-hosts. And while this lineup wasn’t the last ATM would produce, the abysmal program they created was undeniably the biggest deathblow planted on the once great show.

Continue reading