[Game Review] Kid Icarus: Uprising (Nintendo 3DS)

Kid Icarus UprisingFor years now, rumors have been running rampant about a radical revival for one of Nintendo’s forgotten franchises. Most of it stemming from the hopeful wishing and constant speculation of a select few big time video game journalists, the rumor mill was almost constantly buzzing with talk of Kid Icarus making a comeback every time the Big N announced it would be revealing any kind of news.

The reason for this is very unclear to me, because I’ve always felt that both the original Kid Icarus for NES sucked pretty hard. Frustrating controls and garbage gameplay mechanics really irritated me every single time I tried to play it. Maybe it was just the fact that I sucked really bad at it, but for whatever reason I just hated the original. So why would anyone want the franchise to make a return?

Luckily, when it was finally confirmed and shown off for the first time, the painfully boring vertical tower climbing gameplay mechanics of the past looked to be completely thrown away in favor of radical aerial combat and action-heavy ground battle segments. For the first time in my life, I was excited for Kid Icarus. And now that the finished game is finally available for the Nintendo 3DS, I am happy to say that it doesn’t disappoint.

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[Drunk Game Review] BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II (Nintendo 3DS)

I’m drinking this really awful wine. It’s called The Naked Grape and is an attractive-looking California pinot noir. Peanut noir, lol. Anyway, I’ve been so tired of not having a vast array of games on my new 3DS, that every game that comes out piques my excitement to the point where I run out and buy it ASAP.

My stomach hurts.

Such was the case with BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II. As I’ve said in my previous two reviews for fighting games on the 3DS, I’m just not that in to fighthing games. I like DOA: Dimensions a lot, and I got plenty of fun out of Super Street Fighter 4: 3D Edition, but I really don’t need yet ANOTHER fighting game to play. I knew that. Consciously even. I considered turning around on my way to the store, thinking that I really didn’t want the game. I just wanted more games for my 3DS. This is awful wine. Why am I drinking cheap-ass wine? I’m not a teenage girl.



Ok, so I played this game a little bit earlier and was unable to enjoy it. It’s too damn hard. Lol, Squidbillies is on TV. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s the episode with truck balls or whatever. Now there’s blood inside the window. And a face on the floor. Oh. A Bunch of baby squids. Lifeguard on Booty. This show is gross.

Anyway, it’s just too damn hard. It took so long to learn how to be compitant at SSFIV, and this game seems even harder to learn. I’m not a hardcore fighting fan. Why did I buy this game?

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[Review] Dead or Alive: Dimensions (3DS)

The first game I reviewed for the 3DS was Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition. In that review, I talked about how I wasn’t a huge fan of fighting games. I spoke of how I really only truly enjoyed fighting games if they were Super Smash Bros, how I’d never played Street Fighter II (and had no idea a third installment even existed), and how I enjoyed playing Dead or Alive for a very brief time. By the end of that review, however, I talked about how SSFIV ignited a new-found (maybe just recovered) appreciation for the fighting genre, and I became very excited for the quickly-approaching Dead of Alive: Dimensions.

Part of the reason I was excited for DoA was nostalgia. I played the hell out of Dead or Alive 2 on the Sega Dreamcast as a kid, and the thought of playing another game in the franchise after so long really brought back some fond memories. The other, larger part of the reason for my excitement is the fact that the 3DS still has almost no games worth playing more than a few times, and dammit I’m starving for some new software.

Luckily for me, Dead or Alive Dimensions hits the spot pretty well.

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[Game Review] Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition (3DS)

I’m not a huge fighting game fan. In fact, with the exception of a childhood infatuation with Primal Rage and then a brief bout with addiction to Dead or Alive and Tekken 4, I’ve never even played many fighting games that weren’t Super Smash Bros. That is why I am perhaps completely underqualified to review a game such as Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition. I mean heck, I’ve never even played Street Fighter II, and I had no idea there was even a Street Fighter 3.

What I can tell you is that I have bought or rented nearly every game that has released for the 3DS since its release day, and while I can’t tell you how this game stacks up against Marvel VS Capcom 3 or the new Mortal Kombat (or its console counterpart, for that matter), I can tell you how well this game holds up when sat next to any other launch window game for Nintendo’s innovative new system.

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[Tech Review] Nintendo 3DS

After months and months and months of painful waiting, the biggest day of the month of March of the year of 2011 finally arrived. I sat with baited breath, eating up every bit of information regarding Nintendo’s 3DS handheld gaming console I could get my chubby little sausage fingers wrapped around. I read tons of articles, watched hours of video, and stared at countless photographs, dreaming of the day I would finally get my hands on the one thing I wanted more than just about anything else, and I finally have it.

You’ll have to excuse this review for being so late, as I secured my 3DS on its North American launch date but am just now rolling around to doing a write up on it. However, that’s not because I haven’t been using it enough to write a proper review. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

Since purchasing the system, I’ve not let it travel more than 20 feet away from my body. If it hasn’t been in my hands, it has been in my pocket. If not there, then in my bicycle trunk. If not there, then sitting safely on its charging dock. I’ve seriously invested more hours into the 3DS than I have school, work, eating or blinking for the past few weeks.

The funny thing? I’m struggling to write this review because I desperately want to play with it some more.

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[Game Review] Breach (Xbox Live Arcade)

System: Xbox 360 (Live Arcade Exclusive)
Developer: Atomic Games
Publisher: Microsoft
Genre: First-Person Shooter

The first thing we need to get out in the open is that I am not a huge fan of first-person shooters. I don’t play Call of Duty, have never played Halo online, and am generally not interested in any FPS coming to the market. There have been exceptions where I’ve fully enjoyed FPS games, like with the recent Goldeneye 007 remake for the Wii and the Left 4 Dead franchise on the Xbox 360, but generally speaking I have very little interest in this type of game. However, when the folks behind Breach sent me an email with a code to download the game for free a few weeks before it came out, I decided to go ahead and jump on in.

Now that you know I’m not a fan of first-person shooters, you may think that I’m not the right guy to be reviewing this game. And really, I’m probably not. Especially if you’re a huge fan of the genre and want to know how it stacks up against the likes of Call of Duty. That said, I can definitely tell you whether or not this game is fun, and I can do so without dwelling over pointless comparisons to other games.

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[Game Review] Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)

System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Retro Studios
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

The Donkey Kong Country series is, without a doubt, a staple memory for just about anyone who owned a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. The gameplay was rock solid, the music was outstanding, and the graphics were the absolute best you could find on any system. If you were old enough to play Donkey Kong Country when it came out, it probably still stands as one of your top SNES titles.

We’ve been waiting for a follow up to the series for quite a while now, and it is finally here in the form of Donkey Kong Country Returns. Nintendo has been bringing back a ton of old franchises lately, with games like New Super Mario Bros, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Goldeneye 007, and the upcoming and highly anticipated Kid Icarus game for the 3DS. It’s only fitting that DK should get the same revival, and who better to helm such an important project than Retro Studios, the team that put gamers behind Samus’ visor for the critically acclaimed Metroid Prime trilogy.

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[Game Review] Goldeneye 007 (Wii)

System: Wii (also on: Nintendo DS)
Developer: Eurocom
Publisher: Activision
Genre: FPS

Fans have been clamoring for it for ages now, and it’s finally here. This game is a remake of the classic Goldeneye 007 video game released on the Nintendo 64 in 1997, and without a doubt revolutionized the FPS genre on home gaming consoles forever. It was that N64 game that would lay the framework for titles like Halo and Call of Duty, paving the road for their success.

And now, in the form of this Wii game by the same name, Goldeneye 007 exists again, modernized and completely rebuilt from the ground up to take advantage of the Wii hardware. Developed by Eurocom, most known to Wii games as the devs who crafted the excellent Dead Space: Extraction, this modernized classic can be one of two things: a cheap cash in, or the real deal. Ladies and gentelemen, I’m here to tell you that not only is this game genuinely great, it may even be the best FPS the Wii has to offer.

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[Mobile Game Review] Radiant HD (Android)

Operating System: Android
Played On: HTC Evo 4G
Developer: Hexage
Genre: Arcade/Action

I’m not going to lie to you, because you don’t deserve that. The Android platform has been really slow out of the gates as far as gaming is concerned. There is a vast level of difference between what you can find on the iPhone systems and what is available for Android users, with iPhone gaming options being far better.

However, with emerging developers like Hexage, who have a solid catalog of outstanding Android games available (Radiant being one of them), that gap is finally starting to close and Android users are finally able to get some decent gaming fixes on their phones.

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[Game Review] Kirby’s Epic Yarn (Wii)

System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Good Feel
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

Not since Kirby Canvas Curse have I been so excited for a game so adorable. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Kirby, but it hasn’t been since his 2005 dual-screen debut that the pink ball of fluff that is Kirby has had a starring role in anything truly fresh and unique.

Kirby’s Epic Yarn pits you in a world crafted entirely from string, yarn, buttons, zippers and fabric thanks to the heinous and evil work of an evil sorcerer with a magical sock. Wait, what? Yeah, it’s as whimsical and childish as it sounds, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a good thing. I like realistic violence and gore as much as the next guy, but I love adorable, whimsical, imagination-driven tales twice as much. And thanks to Kirby’s brilliant art direction and impressive storybook-esque narrative approach, this is a game that’s had my full attention since its announcement.

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