[Energy Drink Review] Whoopass Energy Supplement

Whoopass Energy DrinkHere’s a portion of Kat Leonard’s review posted on our sister site Caffeine Critic:

I don’t really have a lot of times when I actually NEED to open up a can of Whoopass, but that doesn’t mean I won’t when the time calls for it. Oh yes. I am willing and able to open up that can. Usually when I do open it I’m trying to pwn n00bs on Xbox Live rather than actually getting into the ring like the MMA’s Ryan Bader, the most-known endorser of this drink.

Supposedly this stuff isn’t just for energy, but for helping in muscle recovery after a long workout session. There are actually a few drinks and shots that align themselves with being for physical exertion rather than a gamer or someone at work needing that boost to get rid of the sleepies after lunch. Honestly, I think I fall more into the gamer category more than anything else.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Revew] Red Bird Energy Drink

Here’s a portion of a review for the Louisville Cardinals Red Bird Energy Drink:

Energy drink brands licensed by sports teams or athletes almost always suck.


The closest thing I’ve had to an energy drink endorsed by a pro sports athlete was Amp Tradin’ Paint, and that was licensed to the Dale Earnhardt Jr. name, and he’s not an athlete. He’s a race car driver. And anyone who thinks Nascar drivers are athletes, or that Nascar driving could ever be considered a sport is an idiot. That’s like saying cheerleading or women’s basketball are sports.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic.

[Energy Drink Review] Rumba Energy Juice

Here’s a portion of a review posted on Caffeine Critic:

Popping the tab, I am met with a refreshing and invigorating orange aroma that instantly floods your mouth with anticipatory saliva. It has a nice balance of tangy and sweet, though is a bit heavy on the sour side, and smells like it would be the perfect drink to accompany my breakfast.

Rumba isn’t really as enjoyable to drink as I had hoped, but most of that is attributed to the slightly-too-thick texture. The flavor is just fine, with appropriate levels of tanginess, sour, and sweet balanced in the unique blend of juices. The most prominent flavor is orange, but there are also Rumbalings (get it? Rumba…lings? Rumblings? Get it?) of peach and apple in there as well, making for a very pleasant cocktail of fruit flavors.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] Free Sin Vitality Drink: Greed (Lemon)

Here’s a portion of a review posted on CaffeineCritic.com:

Sins you can commit without consequence are awesome. Things like becoming a Catholic Priest and swearing celibacy for The Lord only to turn around and molest small boys are usually fair game for all God-loving individuals. It’s also great to claim to love God and all of His children only to turn around and tell racist jokes about how worthless blacks and Mexicans are. Not to mention gay bashing. All of those sins are quite delightful, and there’s no way God would ever get mad at you for doing any of that!

This stuff isn’t a “Get Out of Hell Free” card, but instead a sugar free version of the Sin Vitality Drink I reviewed last week. Drinking Free Sin isn’t going to help you get away with murder in the eyes of our Father, unless you’re killing any man or woman of Middle-Easter descent, especially those bastards that built that Mosque by Ground Zero, but it does give diabetics that chance to Drink in Sin without losing their left foot a week later.

Be sure to read the full Caffeine Critic review by clicking here!

[Energy Drink Review] Sin Vitality Drink: Greed

Here’s a portion of a review from Caffeine Critic:

Sinning is bad. Sinning is deliberate disregard for the rules and regulations for human behavior set forth by the Holy Bible. And that is bad. If you don’t believe in the bible, sinning could be defined as disregard for the rules and regulations for human behavior set forth by society. You know, your peers, your friends, your social groups, cops. Especially cops.

Drinking Sin is nowhere near as bad as committing sin. Killing babies, drowning babies, punching babies, suffocating babies, burning babies, choking babies, dropping babies, spilling babies, throwing babies, bashing babies, tripping babies, pushing babies, mocking babies, eating babies, drinking babies, stealing babies, shooting babies, buying babies, selling babies, puking babies, cooking babies, losing babies, hiding babies, and mowing babies. Babies, babies, babies! What am I, some kind of Baby Rights Activist?

Come to think of it, no. No I’m not.

Don’t forget to read the full review!

[Energy Drink Review] Monster: Absolutely Zero

Here’s a portion of a review on Caffeine Critic

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] Shock: Triple Latte Energy Blend

Here’s a portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

Is it possible to put into any less than a measly paragraph or two the importance of canned coffee and the impact it has had on our modern world? No, it isn’t.

Canned coffees have helped the advancement of education, provided extra funding to cancer research, helped prevent preteen pregnancies among American girls who have unspeakable daddy issues, brought entire opposing nations to their knees, and helped Brad Pitt and his gang of rag tag soldiers find and successfully kill Adolf Hitler during World War II. What’s that? You’ve never seen Inglorious Basterds? Shame on you, go watch it now.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] Liquid Nitro

Here’s a portion from a review of Liquid Nitro:

Drinking liquid nitrogen would be a stupid idea.

Drinking Liquid Nitro? Now that’s completely different. This little-known gem of an energy drink isn’t a deadly chemical that freezes things on contact, but instead an energy supplement chock full of all sorts of herbs. I’ve heard of it before, but never ran across it until I was in Big Lots the other day, performing my weekly search for great deals on wasabi peas, cans of sardines, and unique energy drinks.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic.

[Energy Drink Review] Crunk!!! (Original)

crunk energy drinkHere’s a portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

A while back I reviewed a product called Crunk Stix. I didn’t like them. I thought there was a decent amount of potential behind them, but energy powders are very similar to energy shots before they were perfected. The idea is awesome: super portable and convenient energy in a similar form factor to Pixi Stix. The problem? Awful aftertaste and bitterness plague what would otherwise be a revolutionary energy product.

Anyway, along with the Stix, Crunk sent me a case full of different flavors of their drink. I’ve been slowly working my way through it, tasting each flavor. I’m about to go through my last can of the original flavor, making this the perfect time to review it. I’ve experienced it several times, so I’ve got a pretty solid grasp of how it performs.

Readers, I ask you this simply because I am an incompetent moron who can’t think of original jokes: Is it time to get “Crunk?”

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] THiNQ Sparkling Citricity

Here’s a portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

About two months ago I posted my review for the Mixed Berry flavor of THiNQ, and now I’m finally back with a long overdue critique for Sparkling Citricity. Though in my defense I have been slowly polishing off the entire case sent to me by the kind folks at THiNQ HQ, taking mental notes on if the drink has been having any lasting effects over a long period of time. If you’ll recall in my Mixed Berry review, I said that regular intake provided sustained energy, but that was only over the course of a little more than a week. I wanted to know if it kept improving my energy level beyond that.

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com