[Energy Drink Review] Howling Monkey Sugar Free Energizing Cola

A portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

Howling Monkey. Quite possibly the greatest name choice of any brand in the history of Earth and yet this stuff seems to be ever elusive from the hands of even the most adamant of energy drink collectors. It’s almost impossible to find, though if you ever came across the fantastically designed circus-themed can it would be hard to miss. And as you can tell by the title of this post, I’m not even reviewing the actual energy drink, instead an energy cola that is simply an offshoot from the original product. I’ve never seen any Howling Monkey products besides this with my own eyes, and I happened across this by chance at my local Big Lots.

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[Energy Drink Review] Tango Energy Juice

Here’s a portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

The aroma is a very pleasing blend of different fruity scents all mingling together. I smell apple, tangerine, and maybe some acai, among other things that I cannot pinpoint. The cocktail of fruity perfumes creates a very appealing aroma that smells fantastic and natural, a perfect blend for breakfast. There is nothing overly artificial, and no off putting traits that really stick out. A very well executed aroma.

I hate drinking non-carbonated liquids from cans for some reason. I’m not really sure why, but I’ve never been able to drink anything without bubble from anything but a cup or a bottle. That’s why, before drinking it, I poured tango into a 16.9 oz water bottle. What I saw was pretty scary; the juice was a deep, swampy green color that is in no way appealing. Yuck. Anyway, I pressed on, and drank it with little hesitation.

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[Energy Drink Review] Vital Energy (Acai – Blueberry)

A portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

Vital Energy has already proven itself as a competent brand to me once before in the form of their Tangerine flavored drink. It was a surprisingly solid beverage that, despite being an energy water, packed one hell of a punch. Now I’m looking at Acai-Blueberry, another flavor in the powerful line of products that has a flavor that sounds like it’s just about perfect for me.

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[Energy Drink Review] Ol’ Glory

us army energy drink

By Americans, for Americans!

I’ve reviewed budget drinks before, and rarely are any of them any good. I entirely expected to use the Army recruiting ad to enlist myself, go overseas, and pray that someone would drop a bomb on me, shattering my body into a million pieces so I wouldn’t have to remember how awful this stuff was. Somehow though, Ol’ Glory managed to surprise me with what is actually a pretty good energy drink. Partner that with its excellent value and this is a product I can wholeheartedly recommend. Just poor it out of that ridiculously blatant can if you plan on walking around a neighborhood with a large Mexican or Asian population. They’ll just assume you’re a racist bigot.

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[Energy Drink Review] …Lost: Cadillac

Thanks to the ridiculously pointless description on the back of the can, I know nothing about Cadi’s flavor. A peak at the ingredients yields “natural and artificial flavors,” which also tells me a whole lot of nothing. I have no idea what the flavor is supposed to be. This being true, I must rely entirely on my senses. A quick whiff from the nicely decorated green can projects a sweet, sour, and salty aroma, likely lime and a few other citrus flavors. It smells pretty good, if not a little on the salty side.

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Sparkling Mixed Berry THiNQ Energy Drink Review on Caffeine Critic!

There are two kinds of energy lovers out there. The first type is the person who loves gaming, skating, free running, biking, staying up late, yelling, and moving a lot in general, all of the time. I am usually this kind of person (though I admit that I cannot skate or free run). The other side would be the person who has to wake up early for work, has an important job that pays well, maybe has a young family, fancy car, and enjoys feeling recharged and energized for the entire day. I will probably never have a decent job, fancy car, or family of my own.

Curious to know where this is headed? Check out the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

Lemon Ice Slap Review on Caffeine Critic!

After an astonishingly impressive experience with Slap: Crisp Apple, which I scored a 9.0/10, I had very high expectations for Lemon Ice. A refreshing lemonade flavor white tea energy drink sounded absolutely perfect. You see, when I drank Lemon Ice, I had just finished up a full shift working as a bagger at my local Kroger grocery store, more specifically I had just completed an hour long cart shift in near 90 degree heat with high humidity and no breeze. Needless to say I was exhausted and thirsty.

When I finally stumbled into my house, I went straight for my mini fridge with only one thing on my mind; Slap Lemon Ice. It was something I had anticipated all day long, and I expected great things.

Sometimes, however, when your expectations are set too high it is easy to be let down.

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Zombie Blood Review on Caffeine Critic!

A while back I reviewed a product from Harcos Labs called Blood Energy Potion. Now, Blood’s title is more than just its name, as it is also the entire theme surrounding every single aspect of the unique energy drink. For instance, it was engineered to contain very similar nutrients, texture and color to real human blood and came packaged in an awesome I.V. bag to complete the illusion. Definitely a super cool concept and equally awesome execution, but there was only one problem. It was directed towards vampire fans. I hate vampires.

Zombies, on the other hand, are what my entire life revolves around. I have the word ‘Zombie’ tattooed on my lip, and am working on a Resident Evil half sleeve on my right bicep. I worship all things George A. Romero, the Don of the Dead. Zombie movies, zombie games, zombie books, zombie zombies, zombie comics and anything else related to the undead fascinates me.

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Crisp Apple Slap Review on Caffeine Critic

I am very picky when it comes to my energy drinks, and I like to consider myself to be fairly critical when reviewing them. So when I award a drink an overall score of 9.0/10 and hand it a perfect 10 for a subcriterion, you know something is up. Slap Crisp Apple is an awesome drink that you shouldn’t be missing out on, so head on over to the Everyview Network’s Caffeine Critic for the full review on what has become one of my favorite energy drinks of all time.

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