[Food Review] Snickers Fudge Bar

Wanna know how it feels to be a complete and utter dipshit? Try being in the break room at work and having your co-workers gawk at you as you eat and candy bar, while you are simultaneously giving pondering looks and taking notes between each bite.

So, after enduring an irreparable amount of emotional scarring, here’s my review of the Snickers Fudge Candied Bar.

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[Gum Review] Trident Layers

trident_layers_gumTrident Layers come in two different flavors, Green Apple + Golden Pineapple and Wild Strawberry + Tangy Citrus. I don’t usually chew fruit-flavored gum– actually I don’t chew gum in general unless I’m trying to cover the smell of prostitute drool and cheap booze when I go to church, and that isn’t all that often. However, I recently stumbled across a few pieces of each flavor of Trident Layers and decided to give them a chance.

Big mistake. Continue reading

The Five Worst Halloween Treats

It’s October, one of the greatest months of the year. Everything starts to calm down from the summer, but we haven’t yet hit the rush of the holiday season just yet. Also, Halloween! It’s the one holiday that, every year, children plan in advance for. Their costume, their route, what candy they want. It’s also an awful night to deliver pizza on, because you are nearly involved in almost seventeen vehicle/pedestrian collisions. So I thought for this month I would compile a few top 5 lists that are related to our favorite spooky holiday. Continue reading

[Candy Review] Black Jack Chewing Gum


Chewing gum is great for many things. It’s perfect for stepping in, it can be used as a decoration for the overly plain bottoms of desks and tables, it can provide the motivation for a much-needed haircut, and it does a great job of hiding an alcoholic’s liquor breath.

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[Contest] Butterfinger Buzz!

Butterfing BuzzHere it is, the contest I’ve been promising for the past three weeks! The prize for this contest is a rare caffeinated limited edition Butterfinger, dubbed the Butterfinger Buzz. This baby was set to end its romp through the candy world a few months ago, but I just so happen to have my hands on seven of these bad boys and I’m giving them away to whoever wants them.

If you’ve never heard of Butterfinger Buzz bars before, I suggest checking out our review. To go ahead and learn how to win, read on! Continue reading

[Food Review] Dove Peanut Butter Silky Smooth Milk Chocolate Bar


dove-peanut-butter-bagOf all the candied bars you find sitting around your local convenience or grocery store, Dove has always seemed to be one of the snottiest. One always got the impression that if it could emote, Dove would likely scoff at the idea of being stored amongst the Skor’s and Nutrageous’ of the world.  This is why I found it so odd to see a new Dove bar containing peanut butter. This is not a shot at peanut butter, as I eat it often. I would not, however, call it as a “classy” food. So is this mash-up worth your money? Continue reading

[Food Review] Toblerone Swiss Chocolate Bar


Toblerone is a very unique candy bar. It is made from Swiss milk chocolate and filled with almond nougat and honey and comes in a triangular prism packaging to accommodate the bar’s creative triangle shape, which is actually the thing that drove me to try the strange candy in the first place. That and the name, which is apparently a play on the words Tobler, the candy bar’s inventor, and Torrone, the Latin word for honey and almond nougat. Continue reading

Retro Review: Valomilk Candy Cups


Have you ever noticed some of the best things around start out as accidents? Potato chips, beer, Popsicles and myself are some of the more notable ones, but now we have another one to add to the list of accidents that resulted in something amazing. Valomilk Candy Cups, invented in 1931, were a total mistake. It took the genius and innovative mind of Henry Sifers to put a ruined batch of marshmallow to work and make a totally delicious candy treat that were enjoyed for half a century before, sadly, being shut down and yanked away from candy lovers throughout the country.

But thankfully the Sifers family reacquired the original equipment used to manufacture the delicious candies that left a trail on everyone’s face and began production again. Even in today’s high tech world Valomilk is made completely by hand which produces a delicious candy that focuses on quality over quantity. A real treat.

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Review: Vojo Extreme Citrus Energy Mints


Vojo Extreme energy mintsEnergy drinks can make your breath smell really bad. Especially the energy coffees. So when you’ve just downed that can of Java Monster and you have that atrocious coffee breath, you’re gonna want some mints. But you don’t want just any old mints, no. You want mints that’ll fill your veins with even more caffeine!

Now if that’s the case the there are plenty of delicious options out there. Anything with the word Jolt on it is usually pretty good, BAWLS mints are decent, Ice Breakers Energy are the best I’ve had, and so on. Vojo Extreme Energy Mints are not one of those delicious options I just mentioned. In fact, these are a prime example of the kind of caffeinated candies you want to stay away from. Click Read More to find out why.

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Retro-Review: Warheads

When I think about my childhood I often remember the sugary candies and
beverages that went along with it. Many come to mind and some of them I
still enjoy! Mountain Dew, Reese’s Cups, Snickers, and the occasional
piece of gum. Yet I still miss those long forgotten candies that made up
a good part of my diet in younger years. Sweet Starbursts, tangy Ring
Pops, Bazooka Joe bubble gum, the highly caffeinated Surge soda, Nerds,
Shocktarts, Air Heads… wait, that last one reminds me of something.
Something else with the word ‘head’ in it. Ahh, yes. Warheads! I used to
pop those little suckers 24/7. I could even open up the wrapper up in
my mouth (not as hard as the Starburst wrappers of course). It’s been so
long since I’ve had a Warhead that I can hardly remember what they taste
like. Hmm. Well any candy that has the word ‘Head’ in it must be good,
right? Was it sour? Was it sweet? Luckily I have just stumbled
upon one of these little candies and I’m going to see if they live up to
my memories.

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