[Energy Review] Uranium Energy Powder (Yellow Cake)

Yes, you red the title right. Uranium is a member of the Nuclear Energy family of caffeinated candy powders, and it is easily the most awesomely flavored energy product I’ve ever come across. I mean, who doesn’t just love cake? It’s delicious!

But you already knew how awesome cake was. What you may not know is how awesome a cake-flavored energy powder actually is. Which I don’t understand. It’s caffeine-infused candy powder that tastes like cake. Continue reading

[Review] Easy-Bake Oven

As a child growing up in a very violent neighborhood, I was constantly facing difficult problems, the majority of which dealt with me not being able to find myself. All things said, what six year-old white kid has a firm grip on his identity in the first place? I feel comfortable that many of you faced the same tribulations as myself growing up, so I am not embarrassed to share with you some of the identity crisis I faced in my youth — I had a dog phase, thought I was a Ninja turtle, and even convinced myself I was an under-appreciated artistic genius. These were only mild hurdles in my journey of self discovery, as the biggest challenge I faced was gender confusion. Continue reading

[Food Review] Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake (Vanilla)


That’s the word that first crossed my mind when I spotted the box for Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake sitting in the frozen aisle at the grocery at which I’m humbly employed. If I properly recall, it was about 8:00 in the morning, time for the first break of my 6AM to 2:30PM shift, and nothing sounded better for breakfast than this gorgeous looking ice cream cake.

I know what you’re thinking. “Hey fatty, ice cream cake isn’t cereal!” Shut your mouth, yes it is.

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