System:

Many of you, like myself some two weeks ago, likely haven’t heard of Blacklight: Tango Down, unless you frequent the Xbox Live Arcade. Blacklight is a game that was released last Wednesday in the live arcade, and has taken off since then. Here’s a little bit of insight to this sleeper hit.

Set in a fictitious Eastern Bloc city well into the future, Blacklight: Tango Down can be summed up for the most part in the phrase “Modern Warfare 2 in the future on Meth.” The game itself is ran off of the Unreal 3 engine, and maintains a visual aesthetic that is similar in many ways to the Infinity Ward giant. While keeping the same look, and somewhat of the same feel, Blacklight is a shooter all its own.

Review

The game boasts a customization system that has the most customizable loadouts of any FPS on the market in terms of individual weapons, as well as armor and camo. We’ll talk more about this later. The game is, from the start, a multiplayer-focused game through and through. All modes support between 4 and 16 players, with traditional game modes like Domination, Death Match, and Team Death Match. There are also a handful of missions called “black ops” that serve as the game’s somewhat of a story line. Having not played too far into these black ops missions the most I can tell you is that you’re a kick ass super advanced special forces unit in a shitty old Soviet state filled with rouge agents and zombie like things reminiscent of those bastards from 28 Days later in the sense that they come running at you and are very, very pissed with you as a person.

To be honest in the few minutes that I played the games story mode, I was not impressed. It takes on a “go here, fight off enemies. Now go there and hack a control point, fight off enemies. Now go here and fight off enemies while someone hacks a control point so that you can fight more enemies.”  It’s by no means the worst story I’ve played, but definitely not up to par with other premium games out there.

Right off the bat you can tell that Multiplayer is what Blacklight was made for, and for only $15 I would say it’s pretty fun, but it’s also pretty aggravating. The visuals are nice, the maps are nice, but there are a few things in the game that definitely need attention.  Most maps are pretty simple, two spawns on battlefields that can have as many as three levels to play on (various building tops, ledges, etc). Some maps have environmental hazards. Derailer, for example, is a  map set on a train bridge and features two subway trains that pass back and forth killing off those who brave the subway tunnel without ducking or listening for traffic. Sky Fire is a battle atop several buildings inside the fictional city the game takes place in — one wrong jump and its goodbye roofs hello concrete.

Each spawn also contains two or three large sentry turrets, whose job it is to ward off would-be spawn campers and general spawn rushing jerks. The turrets were an interesting idea to help curb spawn camping, but were implemented poorly. In most maps the turrets are positioned just so that any enemy who can jump up to a certain spot, or position themselves behind something, can avoid fire, although upon closing in on a certain range the turrets open fire and track the enemy.

Spawns themselves also were built with good intentions that failed. Each spawn has some sort of barrier, or wall between it and the battlefield, leaving a handful of ways to exit to the fray. The problem with this is that if none of your team are on the battlefield, cue the vicious plundering of your spawn via some 13 year olds who think their clan is the best thing to hit the Xbox Live scene since, well, Xbox Live (True story right there.)

The last order of business is the weapons. SMG, LMG, Assault rifle, sniper rifle, shotgun. You get the basics, as well as a 9m, .45, and revolver pistol for your side arm. Proximity mines, hand grenades, and interesting future tech takes on the classic smoke and flash grenades. Smoke grenades make a cloud of denied access frames that block your Hyper Reality Visor, while flash grenades make your helmet go through a reboot, ala blue screen of death mode. You get a number of custom parts for your guns, stocks, barrels, scopes, etc, each adding to the 25 or so attributes your weapon has. Of these 25 three major ones show up when tinkering. Sprint, damage, and health.

One stock may slow you down, but reduce your recoil and give you more bullets on target. One magazine may make you reload just a bit faster, but take some health away from your overall boost. Some of the customization doesn’t make sense, because right now you simply put things together based on the three stats shown, or personal preference, but there is a lot to work with, and several prefab designs for you to try.

Final Thoughts

Blacklight: Tango down is by no means a Modern Warfare killer, but its a fun game. Right now it has its flaws, but they have promptly been addressed by the devs, and solutions should be inbound. The graphics are good and the gameplay is simple, fast, and fairly enjoyable. The weapon systems are neat, fun to play with, and sometimes a bit confusing. All in all Blacklight: Tango Down stands as a nice $15 game if you want something similar to MW2 without the game breaking loopholes and incoming possibility of pay to play.

Score: 7.75/10 (Good)

The title pretty much says it all.

Ever since the announcement of the 3DS, some Nintendo fans have been bringing up a silly argument in message boards. They feel, for whatever reason, that because the 3DS has 3D, superior graphical capabilities, and tilt and gyro control just like the Wii, that Nintendo’s current home system is inadequate and deserves to be pulled from their entertainment system shelves and tossed in the garbage.

What?

Here are just five reasons why everyone who has made that argument needs to step back, take a breath, and reevaluate their stance.

5. Home Consoles and Handhelds are Entirely Different
Look, just because the 3DS has graphical capabilities that, in more than a few aspects, rival if not surpass the Wii, that doesn’t mean you are going to want the same experiences on your 3DS as your Wii. Why do you think no one wants to play a PSP?

I’m not saying epic games don’t work on handhelds, I’ve sunk countless hours into games like Minish Cap, Chrono Trigger DS, and Pokemon, but in almost all cases those games got their hours from being played at school, on vacations, during breaks at work, and during the 30 – 45 minutes after laying down before dozing off. I’m beyond hyped for the new Ocarina remake and Resident Evil Revelations, but chances are if I’m sitting in my comfy chair in front of my fifty-inch plasma, I’m going to boot up some Sin and Punishment, Mario Galaxy 2 or Skyward Sword.

4. Motion Control on 3DS? Call Me Skeptical
Hmm… how is this going to work well? Aside from a Super Monkey Ball or mini game collection (possibly a Super Monkey Ball mini game collection) I’m not sure how I feel about this. Supporters of the feature like to bring up the iPhone and its use of tilt and gyro for gaming, but the iPhone uses motion as a substitute for a D-Pad or analog stick because it lacks those components. The 3DS has both. And since the 3D screen has one specific “sweet spot,” how is tilting the system going to effect the visual effects from which the system’s name is derived? I’m totally glad the feature is built in, because it could end up being a blast to use if utilized properly, but I also worry that it will be forced by some developers.

3. You’ve Spent Tons of Cash on WiiWare and Virtual Console Games
Hold on, let me count something real quick…

…

I own a whopping 32 downloadable titles on my Wii, spanning both WiiWare and all systems supported by Virtual Console. Is Nintendo going to let me transfer these titles to my 3DS so I can play them on the go? I doubt it, but I sure hope so. I’m not going to get rid of the system that lets me regularly enjoy titles like Bonk’s Adventure, Gunstar Heroes and Ristar! I’d be missing out, and losing a lot of cash that I spent on these games. And that’s not even counting my collection of 60+ disc-based Wii titles.

2. Wii Still Has Great Games
One of the things that really baffles me about a lot of people out there who say there is no reason to own a Wii since the 3DS is coming out is this; just because a new system is coming out, doesn’t mean that the great games on the Wii no longer exist. Sure the 3DS is going to have plenty of excellent software, potentially including games like Kid Icarus, Resident Evil Revelations, Ocarina of Time, Star Fox 64, Mario Kart and Metal Gear, but that doesn’t undo all of the excellent titles that have hit the Wii since its debut.

Super Paper Mario, No More Heroes 2, Twilight Princess, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, Galaxy 1 and 2, Zack and Wiki, Mario Kart, and The House of the Dead: Overkill are just a few examples of the excellent games that hit the Wii, and there are still plenty of titles to look forward to. Games like Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Goldeneye, Epic Mickey and The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword are just a handful of titles that Wii gamers are looking forward to.

Why would the introduction of a new handheld from Nintendo offset that roster?

1. The 3DS Isn’t Out Yet
Duh.

If you really insist on scrapping your Wii just because Nintendo’s next portable is around the bend, be my guest. I’ll hold on to my little white box until the next Nintendo home console is sitting on my entertainment stand.

Well there you have it! Five reasons why the argument that Wii is incompetent because the 3DS is coming out is a stupid argument. Feel free to add your own arguments to the comments section, or alternatively call me an idiot for whatever reason.

System:

Earlier in the year Rockstar hit the dusty trail with what was sure to be their new giant, Red Dead Redemption. The old western “GTA Goes West” is just that, a sandbox action game set in a fictitious area on the US/Mexico border circa 1910. The Old West is a dying place, industrial revolution, Federal government, and all sorts of new found trickery and deceit have made their way across the Mississippi and into Rockstar’s final bastion for Cowboys, Indians, and outlaws.

The game starts off by introducing us to John Marston, our stoic cowboy anti-hero who is being lead off a boat into a small town, Blackwater. The cutscene continues with two men, clad in suits, bowlers, and sporting badges, escorting John to an expecting locomotive, with a trio sharing a few back and forths. Jon takes a long train ride far into the heart of the state, all the while hearing conversation from two snoody rich ladies, and a young woman talking to a priest. After following a bit more of this linear, cutscene-infused prologue before Rockstar cuts you lose into the Old West.

I don’t want to give too much of the story away, so I’ll cut it there. RDR was a game that I waited a few months to spring on, after seeing the initial rush to buy it, and the countless number of friends playing it online. I would call myself a fan of Rockstar and their tried and true system ala Grand Theft Auto, and I hoped this new Western flavor would tickle my gaming taste buds with something new that I so craved. I’m here to say I am excited, yet disappointed with it.

Red dead redemption holds strong to the label “GTA: Wild West” in the sense that it is mostly just that. The game takes place over the sprawl of New Austin and part of Mexico, with mountain ranges and lakes as borders. Towns are few and far between in New Austin, be it the iconic old time town feel of Armadillo, with its two story saloon complete with shady folks and piano ditties, or the bustling would be metropolis of Blackwater, a town that seems to blend the coming industrialization with the last ditch efforts of the west to cling on with bare hands.

Scenery in Redemption is spectacular, be it the snow-covered mountains to the north, the rolling plains outside Blackwater, or the endless desert that is Mexico, with its occasional oasis in the form of a settlement or compound. Rockstar did a good job giving players a big map to stomp around in. Many have complained that we get a lot of open space and not alot to fill it, but once you take into consideration this is 1910 Southern Texas and not 2000′s New York, the lack of filler is explainable.

You get the basic GTA layout in form of the HUD, with a circular map, the same letters to identify quest givers, icons to denote fast travels, stores, etc. The aiming system has changed slightly with the new “dead eye” mode. Aiming is as simple as holding the left trigger, John pulls out whatever gun, knife, lasso, or molotov you have equipped, and if you’re close enough to a baddy (or anyone) it will automatically snap to them. From this snap you can make minor adjustments with the right stick to fine tune your ass kicking.

Dead Eye itself is a bit of bullet time mixed with a fancy auto aim system. Activate dead eye and time slows down, and the screen gets a lovely sepia tone. At level one of three, you simply have time to superfine tune your shots, to say shoot someone in the foot and knock them off a building, or shoot a gun from their hand. Level two takes it a step further by automatically putting X’s across whatever you drag your cross hair over. When the X’s equal however many bullets you have, or you pull the trigger, John unleashes hell upon the pre-marked spots. At level three you have freedom to pick whatever you want (Object, person, etc) and add an X to later shoot. All in all the dead eye system is nice, and can be a great help in sticky situations.

The overall pace of the game is a bit iffy, after around 16 hours of play and you’ll be done with the story, assuming you don’t waste time on side missions (which I didn’t) and things of that nature. The side missions themselves are varied and pop up as either random encounters, or people milling about towns looking for help. You get a handful of generic “someone stole my horse/cart/purse/etc, go get it back” missions, and a handful of interesting bandit traps, but all in all the variety is slim. The game has challenges such as killing so many animals, skinning so many, killing a certain number without reloading, et.  All of these minor things help to break up the monotony of the story missions, and help you to earn income when you aren’t looting it from the corpses of dead bandits, towns people, or just about anyone else you kill.

Final Words:

The bottom line is this, Red Dead Redemption is a great game, the story is interesting, the characters are unique and there is much commentary on the way the Old West truly was. Multiplayer is a sort of free for all on the map, 16 person servers allowing for groups to roam about and do small missions, battle each other and things of that nature. It is an interesting concept that seems very hollow at the moment, but plans for add-ons, zombie modes, poker and mini games to spice up the experience could well make it worth it, assuming you’re willing to dish out the $10 a pop per DLC.

Red Dead is a great singleplayer experience, while the multiplayer lacks in some aspects the promise of new additions to both single and online play could well make it a hit even months after release. The sometimes clunky movement, and fidgety camera were my only major turn offs. The game does a good job of giving you a massive bit of the old west to tread through, while still maintaining a fun environment.

Final Score 8.0/10 (Great)

System:

The original Sin and Punishment, a fast-paced Arcade-Style shooter-fest for the Nintendo 64, never made it stateside for some reason. The game was originally voiced in English and dubbed with Japanese sub-titles, making it essentially ready to be shipped oversees for American gamers to enjoy. In fact, it wouldn’t be until several years later that the world’s fattest nation would get the chance to experience one of Treasure’s greatest achievements through the Wii’s Virtual Console.

Luckily for us, someone decided that it would be a good idea to not let that happen again, and the events were set in motion to bring the lightning-fast twitch shooter to the hands of American Wii gamers hungry for pain, frustration and punishment.

Review:

Treasure knows how to craft a challenging, white knuckle, painfully difficult game. Gunstar Heroes, Bangai-O, Ikaruga, Astro Boy: Omega Factor and of course the original Sin and Punishment are a few of their games that shine the brightest, and with that partial roster alone it is easy to understand why Treasure is one of the most trusted names in game development when it comes to challenging and hardcore experiences. Star Successor is just another game to add to the list of winners, and it satisfies in just about every way you’d expect for a game of this genre.

We’ll start by discussing the story, which is easily the weakest aspect of the package. I tried to follow along for a while, something about some sharp-dressed robot demon monster things trying to kidnap some android girl with a hoverboard, but it wasn’t long before I just didn’t care any more. I mean, really. You are blowing up sharp-dressed robot demon monster things, and you can play as an android girl on a hoverboard. Who cares about the story? She’s on an effing hoverboard!

In today’s gaming environment, it’s usually the story that drives the player to want to keep playing. Not in Star Successor, Treasure has harkened back to the golden age of gaming and made a point system the center of the gamer’s attention. Throughout each level, your job is to blow up as much shit as possible, earning a high score along the way. You control your character with the nunchuck and control actions such as aiming and shooting with the Wiimote. If you die (you will die. A lot) you lose your entire earnings and have to continue on from a checkpoint with 0 points. This may seem antiquated, and it really is, but it works. And you want to know something else? It’s refreshing. I’ve played levels over and over and over just to be able to make it to the end without dying, trying to get the highest score possible. And with the online leaderboards, I was able to see just how much I suck, pushing me to try again and again to get a more respectable score.

The game’s visuals are a mixed bag in all honesty. During the opening cut scene, Star Successor could be confused for a first generation Gamecube game, or a high end Sega Dreamcast game. Textures are murky, character models are lame, and everything is a bit on the blocky side. However, everything changes once you get into a level and start playing. Areas are spacious, enemies look great and are varied, and bosses are some of the most stunning and just plain weird I’ve seen in quite a while. I have only noticed a few dips in frame rate, all of which have occurred during multiplayer and were rather minimal. The fact that it is able to keep the action flowing while unlimited numbers of projectiles and enemies fill the screen is really impressive.

Audio is also mixed and in the same manner as graphics. During cut scenes, cheesy voice acting takes everything back to the Dreamcast days at times, and is pretty awful for the most part. However, the bumping techno tunes that rip through your ears while you are blasting robots and ninjas and flying sperm fishes into oblivion is extremely fitting and very well done. It is easy to get past the visuals and audio being lackluster in cut scenes, because when you are in the game and the action is turned up, Sin and Punishment is a very impressive package.

I’ve had the game for about a week now, and have already sunk about 12 hours into it just trying to get better scores. I’ve beaten the game’s eight levels multiple times on Easy mode, once on Normal and the first two levels on Hard. I’ve also played each level numerous times, for the reason that the game is so fun, challenging, and thus, rewarding. Eight levels may seem like a skimpy package, but with such high replayability, the fifty dollar admission fee is definitely worth it.

Final Words

Sin and Punishment: Star Successor is an awesome game. Nearly everything about it is just plain sweet. Of course, there are some things about it that could’ve used some work, like the ugly character models and cheesy voice acting, but nothing truly beats sailing through the sky with a hoverboard, shooting hundreds of flying sperm fish out of the sky. Gamers who aren’t fans of non-stop action and unforgiving difficulty will want to stay away from this, as it is one of the most punishing games I’ve played in a long time.

Score: 8.5/10 (Great)

Conflict of Interest Disclaimer: This is a review for a game I co-created.

As a child, I had but one goal; to make it in the NBA. As an avid fan of the Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Bill Wennington led Chicago Bulls dynasty of the 90′s, I dreamed of nothing more than using my superior athletic abilities to bring a city joy in the same way those great players brought joy to Chicago.

Things seemed perfectly on schedule following my sixth grade season when I won my team’s free throw championship (63%). Then something unfortunate happened. Simply put, I got lazy. My desire to play simply fizzled out as my body got less receptive to all the fitness requirements necessary for those hoping to succeed in the game.

The only way my new lethargic self was gonna get into any sort of game was if it could be played sitting down, which didn’t extend to competitive basketball. Sure I could still shoot at one of those baskets you hang on the door, but even that eventually became too arduous, as it wouldn’t take long before an errant shot bounced off the rim and landed out of my immediate reach.

Fuck that.

Then around my junior year of high school, my long-time friend/sworn enemy/partner-in-lethargy Adam Kurtz and I conceived an athletic endeavor which combined the obsessions of my pre-teen (basketball) and teenage (sitting) years at the oddest of times…during a duel defecatory session (if it’s possible to sound pretentious while discussing the act of taking a dump, I think I just did it).

That game was Potshot (patent pending). The objective is simple. Two parties sit in two adjacent stalls. Making sure you both lean back far enough so as to create a small opening at the front of the bowl, each player takes a rolled-up piece of toilet paper and tosses over the divider in hopes of sinking it in their opponents “goal.” A traditional game goes to five, but adjustments can be made based on time restraints.

While this may come across as faint praise, assuming you aren’t a bizarro pervert, I can say with great confidence this game is the most fun you will ever have sitting on a public toilet. The competitive nature and exquisite craftsmanship of the game is very enticing and could be enough to drive you into the stall whether there is any physical reason for you to be in there or not.

And I stress that patience is a must. While it’s not as physically grueling, I find this game to be more fundamentally difficult than basketball, as the view of your target is always obstructed. Even if you get your shot exactly how you want it, your shooting percentage will likely always be low.

As for strategy, while it’s mostly dependent on the size of the stall, a straightforward, finesse approach has always been my go-to. I’ve seen the bank shot approach work a few times, but it’s a rarity, as no matter how tight you roll up a ball of toilet paper, there’s always gonna be a limited spring in its proverbial step.

To get a good bounce would require a strenuous throwing motion, which is never a good idea for this game’s patrons, seeing as how most of them are likely out of shape. It doesn’t matter what you go on to do, if you ever throw out your shoulder while sitting on the toilet, your chances of living a dignified life are non-existent.

While the game is, in practice, the ultimate individual sport, it requires more trust than all team sports put together. Aside from scoring being based purely on the honor system, the risk for disagreements to turn nasty runs extremely high. Without the opportunity to supervise your opponent, you run the risk of them tossing over a ball of TP cloaked in, shall we shall, unpleasantness. For parents of young children, the fact that they may someday play this game is as good a reason as you will ever hear to teach them about good sportsmanship.

As much as I love this game, I acknowledge it’s not easy to organize a game. Rarely is there a time when people are in a public setting when they have time, or desire to, sit in opposite bathroom stalls and play a makeshift game of basketball.

Also, there needs to be a certain degree of social comfort established between two parties before one proposes playing to the other. As I learned the hard way during my friendless first semester of college, asking a total stranger to play this game isn’t a great ice-breaker.

Final Words:

There’s a sequence at the beginning of the movie BASEketball where the two main characters agree they’re pretty good at basketball, “as long as they don’t have to run, or jump and shit.” Assuming they could have gotten over the final fear expressed in that statement, Coop and Remer would have loved this game.

Due to my cripplingly lonely freshman year, I went nearly eight years without playing Potshot before reviving it out of boredom with a co-worker last week. Instantly I felt a longstanding void had been filled and for a brief second was quite sad about having put in my two weeks notice.

To see my co-workers (I played two of them on consecutive days and successfully kicked both of their asses) take to it makes me think there is a future for this game if it were only given a chance. It’s fun, it’s rewarding and for me, it helped me recapture a portion of the love I once had for the game of basketball without having to worry about pleasing that bullying perfectionist Brian Heimlich. I don’t give a shit how many times you’ve heard the “does anyone know the Heimlich” bit, it’s still hilarious when I do it! Asshole.

Final Score: 9.5/10 (The only reason for the archaic product toilet paper to still exist.)

This year has seen the release of some crazy things for the Xbox Live arcade market. Indie games, puzzle games, 2-d games, you name it they’ve probably got it. One game that really caught my eye was Signal Studio’s Toy Soldiers.

Released at the beginning of March, Toy Soldiers brought a handful of achievements and a few nifty avatar items (if those are your thing) along with a rather easy to play and mindlessly fun game.

Review:

Toy Soldiers is definitely something I recommend adding to your Xbox game collection, especially if you are a fan of strategy or tower defense games. It features a solo mode, in which the player (British) fights through various battles in World War One, complete with a time line (this battle was the introduction of tanks into warfare, thus you get a tank) that adds something new to your game.

You get a base, a handful of pedestals  and some pre-allocated units and funds to begin fortifying. Battlefields are set up as an open diorama, the edges of the box sometimes littered with bottles and various items, and when you take flight in the biplanes you can get a view of the “room” your toy soldier playset is set up in.

Campaign takes the form of 12 missions from the allied point of view. You play throughout the history of WWI, which opens the play field for new devices and units.

The game has a nice visual edge, and though the graphics aren’t something you would see on an E3 showroom floor, Signal Studios did a good job really giving everything a toy feel. Tanks have a wind up gear on the back, when soldiers or units are destroyed they break apart into little pieces, and it really ads to the “toy” aspect.

The units themselves, be them stationary or mobile, also have very fun animations. Larger scale howitzers go from a small two man cannon to a massive piece of plastic machinery with a three or four man crew, and a little crane to load your next shot.

Multiplayer plays just like a campaign mission would. One person plays Britain, the other Germany, you pick the battlefield and set up allocated money, unit restrictions, drivables and other various rules before they start up the match. During a multiplayer round, each person works on getting their soldiers into the boxes of the other man (same as in Single player) without losing their own.

As you build and use stationary guns, howitzers, and drivable tanks and planes you accumulate points for destroying multiple toy soldiers at once, they fill up a bar that allows you to use Barrage. Barrage sends a volley of A.I. soldiers and artillery strikes to rock the opponents screen and base, giving you an opportunity to launch a wave of Cavalry, tanks, gyrocopters, and various other units based upon the map you battle on.

Final Thoughts:

All in all toy soldiers is a great game to play with friends, family, or if you just want to kill a bit of time without having to go through the motions of starting up other games. It features a nice soundtrack of era music, sepia toned loading screens with old war quotes, and tons of other minor details that really give the game a nice shine. Also for around $10, how could you go wrong?

Final Score: 8.0/10 (Great)

I don’t play video games, but if I did, I imagine the only thing that could trump my excitement about this news would be the announcement of a Marvin Berry & the Starlighters reunion tour.

According to this site, Telltale Games (makers of a game or two I’m sure some of you have played/heard of) are releasing an episodic game based on Back To The Future, the single greatest achievement in cinematic history. I checked out of the video game scene after Wild Gunman, but this news is enough to even get my heart racing at about 88 MPH [I really wish I could close with a better reference than this, but I'm pressed for time (insert even lamer and more obvious DeLorean joke here)].

System:

I have been writing reviews on this site for coming up on two years now, and I have never awarded anything a perfect 10. I’ve reviewed books, video games, energy drinks, movies, food, tech, and music — a very wide scope of products — and never experienced one single item that deserved a score of perfection. Never. I don’t know why, but I’ve just never experienced anything that I truly thought existed without some flaw, some merit of quality detraction.

That streak has come to an end, as I have finally experienced something truly perfect. No blemishes, no flaws, nothing to detract from the experience offered. Super Mario Galaxy 2 for the Nintendo Wii is truly perfect in everything that it does. Of course I can’t just say that without offering something to back it up, so if you feel you need further convincing, then by all means read onward dear gamer. If, however, I’ve already swayed you, then I suggest buying the game right now if you don’t already have it in your library. This is an interactive experience that shouldn’t be missed.

Review:

We’ll start with analyzing the gameplay. It is standard 3-D Mario fare in the sense that you must battle your way through increasingly challenging stages to find the star that sits at the end of each level. That is, in a nutshell, the exact same formula since Super Mario 64, and it is still as compelling and competent as it was all those years ago. The weird thing is, the stars often don’t feel like the most rewarding part of the levels, instead the adventure to the goal is often what drives your desire to keep playing. That and the still fresh and compelling physics-based gameplay and challenges that center around different levels of gravity.

Every level is so expertly crafted that it makes every 3-D platformer before it pale in comparison. There have been countless times when I saw a new level for the first time and just smiled, not only excited and the challenge ahead of me, but intrigued as to how someone could’ve thought up such clever levels. Some of my favorites were ones that mixed multiple themes such as fire and ice, and ones that took advantage of Yoshi, who makes his triumphant return in Galaxy 2.

Mario controls like a charm, as is always the case. Triple jumps, backflips, wall kicks, long jumps — you name it, all of Mario’s standard tricks are here along with the spin which was introduced by the original Galaxy. This arsenal of acrobatic finesse not only makes it much easier to overcome seemingly impossible obstacles, but it makes everything much more interesting as well. There can be two or three different ways to get from point A to point B, depending on your play style. Making things even more interesting is the new assortment of powerups, such as Cloud Mario and Rock Mario. Even Yoshi has the ability to run at light speed and turn into a balloon, among doing other things, if the right berries are eaten.

In the original Mario Galaxy, there would occasionally be an issue with getting lost on one of the small planets thanks to the camera that couldn’t always keep up. In Galaxy 2, every level has a customized camera that has been built in a much smarter fashion to ensure that no longer happens. And it is truly impressive that I have yet to lose track of my fat plumber, despite the fact that the game forces you to run upside down, right side up, and on every other direction you could think of.

Not only is the gameplay the most immersive I’ve ever seen, but this is the most gorgeous game, both technically and artistically, the Wii has ever produced. There are times when I’m running through pillars of lava, able to see gigantic fire monsters hundreds of feet away on one of the dozens of planets surrounding me, that I just don’t understand why more powerful graphics technology even exists. This should be all we need, because it gives us more than we’ve ever wanted. Still, that technology is out there, and it is worth pointing out that Super Mario Galaxy 2 comes very close to being able to compete with the HD systems in terms of graphics. It is truly very impressive.

Just as pleasing to the senses is the games audio. Not only is every sound effect — every yelp of joy out of Mario’s mouth, ever squish of an unsuspecting Goomba’s skull, every giddy shout of glee from Yoshi — spot on, but the music is so amazingly beautiful you’ll just smile while listening to the fully orchestrated score evolve in the background of your adventures. My hat goes off to the writer, conductor and performers of Mario Galaxy 2′s soundtrack, because it is truly a masterpiece.

In order to get to the final boss fight with Bowser and save Princess Toadstool, you are only going to need about 10 – 15 hours to invest. However, that is where the real game is really just starting. After that initial 70 stars are collected and the Mushroom Kingdom is saved from peril, you’ve still got about 170 stars left to get. That’s right, Mario Galaxy houses about 240 stars for you to track down and collect, making this adventure one that will last you months, easily. If you’re a more casual player, you will probably never see all of the stars. Hell, even if you are a seasoned vet, chances are you won’t be able to see everything in this Galaxy, meaning there will always be something new every time you power it on.

Final Words:

Mario Galaxy 2 is perfection. It is a massive, innovative sequel to a game that was already considered one of the best to have ever existed, improving on that foundation and adding countless upgrades and new challenges. Every level is breathtaking and every challenge is rewarding. The game’s pacing is flawless. Mario controls just as you’d expect him to, and it feels very natural to move him from planet to planet, each with a unique gravitational pull. The camera never loses the character, and you will likely never lose interest.

This game is a true masterpiece, one that gamers of any merit can and will enjoy.

Score: 10/10 (Perfect)

5. Blast Works

Why did no one ever buy this game? That’s simple. One look at the quirky box art makes the game look like an interactive adaptation of a weekday Nickelodeon show. Either that, or there really aren’t any hardcore gamers who own the Wii. Looking a bit deeper, had anyone ever done so, gamers would have realized that what appears to be a game based on their little brother’s favorite Nick Jr. show is actually a hardcore scrolling shooter with old school inspirations  and a ridiculously deep level creator, which is only enhanced by multiplayer and online trading.

Buy Blast Works: Build, Trade, Destroy for only $13.99

4. Excitebots: Trick Racing

Excitebots is a game that screams hardcore arcade action. Though it is true that browsing over the box could produce confusion (why is a robotic turtle car throwing pies at a decapitated floating clown head?), which is likely why the majority of people never bought it, there is still no excuse for the supposed “hardcore” crowd that is constantly complaining about a lack of “hardcore” titles.

I mean, these are the gamers that supposedly look at review scores, and one look at a catalog of reviews for Excitebots reveals nothing but positive things, from both critics and users. This game takes you to the core of what a game should be — nonstop, reality bending, mind blowing fun.

Buy ExciteBots: Trick Racing for only $36.82

3. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure

Hm, I’m starting to notice a trend with box arts and commercially unsuccessful Wii games. Zack & Wiki is perhaps the biggest offender of the daytime kid’s show box art, but it is also another great example of gamers ignoring reviews and positive press for some reason. You know that old misconception about “Nintendo is for teh kidz lulz?” I think Wii gamers have taken such a great offense to that, they absolutely refuse to buy anything that looks like a kids game, in fear of supporting that old ignorance.

How else could I explain Zack & Wiki never making it to the top of sales charts? This is one of the most refreshing, challenging, and down right difficult games I’ve ever played. And one look inside a Wii message board would reveal numerous threads about gamers who want exactly what this game offers, only more “mature.” Grow up, click the Amazon link below, enter your mom’s credit card info, and wait for Zack & Wiki to show up at your house.

Buy Zack & Wiki for $8.98

2. The House of the Dead: Overkill

However, if cheesy box design is primarily responsible for the poor sales of the games mentioned above, I have no theory on why The House of the Dead: Overkill tanked so hard. It’s a B-Movie style video game, from Sega’s legendary franchise, in which you get to blow the heads off of countless zombies. If buckets of gore, nudity, and an entire ass load of awesome isn’t enough to make you buy this game, I don’t know what is. This is honestly one of my favorite Wii games, and it is frustrating to see that so many people are unwilling to even look at it.

Oh yeah, it is an On-Rails Shooter. I forgot how much Wii gamers hate Rail Shooters for absolutely no reason. They whine about wanting a hardcore game, so developers release games like this and Dead Space Extraction (another favorite of mine) which they believe will cater to the “starving gamers” while taking advantage of the Wii’s strengths and downplaying its weaknesses, and all their supposed demographic can do is complain about how they want “real” games, like on the Xbox 360 and PS3. They call developers lazy for not making games like the HD consoles have. They claim that Rail Shooters are no fun, despite the fact that many of them haven’t touched one since they were nine years old and played Time Crisis II in their mall’s arcade, which I’ll bet you they loved.

Listen, if you are going to refuse to play Rail Shooters because all you want is a “real” first-person shooter, go buy a 360 and quit bitching. However, if you have never played this game because you never had the chance but are willing to play a Rail Shooter because you aren’t an idiot, click the Amazon link below. You won’t be disappointed.

Buy The House of the Dead: Overkill for $17.35

1. Little King’s Story

Little King’s Story is one of the best games I’ve played in the past ten years. It puts players in a whimsical world, hands them a crown and staff, and puts them in direct control of an entire magical kingdom. The unique blend of RTS, adventure, and empire building gameplay makes this a title unlike anything you’ve ever seen. It is challenging, robust, and extremely rewarding.

So why did it tank? It could be the cartoony box art, I suppose. A lack of marketing would attribute. It’s also kind of hard to find, I guess we could blame it on that. But really, the only thing we can blame it on is the fact that many Wii gamers won’t buy anything unless it is Wii Sports, Music, etc. Even the hardcore gamers are no where to be found when games they have been hyping up and promising to buy are finally released (I’m looking at you, The Conduit). Why is that?

Buy Little King’s Story for $29.99

There you have it, five Wii games you’ve never played. If you have played them, then kudos! For everyone else, I’ve provided you with links to Amazon so you can buy the games and have them sent directly to your house. I highly suggest trying at least one of these titles out, because I want these games to be played by as many people as possible. They are great efforts that developers put their hearts in to, and it is a shame that they went ignored.

There you have it! If anything else comes to the Pokevan I’ll be sure to have an update ready, complete with pics and such. We hope you like it!